As a scholar who has come freshly out of the “glamour” of matric year of high school. I would be a part of a group of the oldest and most seasoned secondary level education receiver of the country as is the norm. I was part of a prefect body. Who underwent countless music and ballet examinations. performances, musical shows, and orchestral courses as extramural activities. Who, like many of my peer has studied and written exams of provincial. As well as national level as part of the curricula of South Africa with. An aspiration to become a medical doctor, it wasn’t an easy task – at least that is what I thought then.
Arrogance can prove to be detrimental to one’s learning, but having the resources and privilege to have done what I have done and been through what I have been through was something I pride myself over. Maybe I was just lucky to be born into a middle-income family who would invest time and money in interests of their son. I strived to be the best in school, and was what was then called an all-rounder. By being the best, I didn’t do what people in my grade would do, I secluded myself, I practiced my extra-mural activities and obtained the highest level any highschooler can achieve.
I was at a level where I could teach ballet, and my musical repertoire was equivalent to that of a person who has gotten his bachelor’s degree in music, except I was in Grade 11 when those happened.
Being an Asian who is Taiwanese, you can already deduce what kind of household I come from and I would not have said that you are stereotyping, because it is the truth. Also, being an only child until grade 5 and the oldest child of parents who never went to college or varsity and are shunned by our extended family due to their perception of Africa in general, I had a heavy load to carry. During matric, my relationship with my father was particularly delicate. Since I set the goal to get into medschool, started applying for varsity and sitting down at a table for the longest times in my high school years (of course it cannot compare to what I do now) to study and get the best marks, my father would never be happy and think it is good enough to have an aggregate of 90. Of course, I knew he was worried, he didn’t want me to be hurt if I didn’t make it in even after my hard work and the only way he could show love was to push me even harder so I can achieve the best I can and have no regrets.
Performing on stage was my only way of escape, pretending to be someone else I was not, learning a trade that explores emotions and human interactions and learning to work with different factors as a team, all the while never letting them get to really know who I was except for who I portray. It was good to learn something different, something that uses my body and mind to interpret notes on paper, music through dance and meaning through movement as subtle as a gesture and way of speech and then coming back, sitting in front of books and be Jimmy again.
I have always had my family’s support in whatever I do and with every performance and award ceremony; my father will always be a guest in the auditorium. However, as I have mentioned above- in my matric year, my relationship with my father went south and my biggest regret (even thinking about it after so long makes me ask why I was such an idiot) was never inviting my father to the final and biggest moment in my high school life-sitting in our valedictory and seeing me through my speech as a Head Boy…
Now, this being my fifth year in varsity and reflecting on the kind of learner I was in high school and the transition of that throughout the years to the kind of learner I have become now I’d say I have changed quite some and learnt to adapt better and better.
My first year in varsity was where I’d learnt the kind of person I was by myself, away from my parents, and to explore the ways around varsity and socialize with people that are very different to the kind of people I’m accustomed. I was enthusiastic and the sky was the limit. I must say that I was arrogant though, to think that biology was matric work and almost failed it. In retrospect I could have gotten a much better average at the end of that year and had I focused and not act like a suppressed teenager free of control from parents for the first time I would have noticed the importance of the material we were learning. Now I will never be able to go back and relearn it better. It was the learning foundation I lacked when I got into second year.
During my second year, when the course work was more relevant to my degree of study I was again enthusiastic and remembering the mistake I had made in first year I had decided to dedicate my energy into the studies. However, Anatomy showed me who the real boss is and I had never quite recovered from the first ever 30% I’d gotten in my life… I repeated anatomy again.
Second year for the second time, having a lot of time since I was only doing one subject I took up martial arts and table tennis. I also took time to reflect on what I was doing wrong and grounded myself slowly learning how to study, become humble, accepting that I still have a lot to learn, understanding my arrogance and not take knowledge for granted. I changed my way of living as a student to be more regular, sleeping when I need to sleep and having a healthy, balanced diet. Slowly, I gained momentum and got the marks that I can be less ashamed about and even represented the varsity in playing inter-varsity tournament (USSA) for table tennis.
During third year, where the course is taught differently to the first two years of varsity I had to adjust and had constantly doubted my method of studying, fearing a repeat of what happened in second year. Learning that failing was part of the learning process and is not the end of the world, I aimed to work harder and not be afraid to accept my mistake and move on to recover. I ended up being exempted from the end-of-year examination and had a balanced life where I put equal amount of focus in family and personal life and aside from studying still manage to have time for table tennis and represented Wits in USSA for the second time, this time in my home town, Kimberley.
What really motivated me was being in hospital – interacting with medical staff and patients made me realize why I had chosen to become a medical doctor in the first place. What we are learning is being more and more relevant and the responsibility of knowing our work well is becoming greater. I no longer need to worry about passing or failing after a test and strive more to learn the material as best as I can, simulating in my mind situations and applying the knowledge wherever I can so I can integrate and incorporate this as part of my daily living, a passion, a source of energy and direction.
I guess with all this being said and done, it is good to reflect on what I have been through and how far I have come. To have learnt and understood the person I was and constantly reminding myself of the person I want to become. To remember that being in fourth year I still have quite a way to go and still have a lot to see and learn. But also, to remember that learning is a life long process and that one day when I become a consultant or professor I must still be humble and learn from people of all walks of life, disregarding age, gender, belief, culture etc.
