The people around us form part of what shapes our daily lives in both a positive and a negative way. Although in many instances we have very high expectations over the people around us including family members, friends and our community members in shaping us positively, in some cases they impact on our lives negatively. Dorothy Allison for example is surrounded by people who are selfish especially men who keep on abusive her and other women both physically and verbally. However, with the negativity we might derive from our community, it comes down to ourselves to try and cultivate the negativity to positivity just as Allison converts all the negative experiences to positive ones and this is what prompts her to writing inspirational stories. Moreover, some of the people around us especially family members have made our pursuit for college education difficult as they have failed to appreciate its relevance and importance.
The Role Played by the People around Us
Dorothy Allison in the book is surrounded by people who are different and contributes both positively and negatively towards her well-being in the community. Growing up in an environment that is full of challenges such as poverty, all she needs are people who can motivate her to work and strive for the best in order to be successful (Allison 39). However, this is not what she receives as she is failed by some of her family members and friends who fail to give her the kind of environment she deserves. In our lives, this is the same experiences we go through as our surroundings are full of people who are not in a position to help and motivate us in becoming the better persons we are meant to be in the long run. Apart from our immediate family members, we tend to encounter unfair treatment from the other members of the family in terms of violence, despise and even being subject to ridicule whenever we fail in some of the instances to becoming better persons. This is the same kind of people that Allison is surrounded with as she suffers from both physical and verbal violence just because she is a woman. Moreover her culture does not support women and their dreams and this is much evident by how the community members perceive Ann, Allison’s sister (Allison 89). The lack of appreciation for who we are is the same fate some of us are suffering in the hands of our family members and community members. This has had the effect of demoralizing us in pursuing some of our important dreams in life.
Perception of Family and Community Backgrounds
In general, I am a person who always appreciates and value my family and community’s background. This is based on the fact that the two are what gives me my identity and a sense of belonging in everything and everywhere I visit. Moreover, my family and community backgrounds are what motivate me to work hard in order to make them proud and recognized. This is the same approach as the one taken by Allison who has a lot of respect for her family and community. This is despite the fact that the same people she values and appreciates are the ones who makes her life difficult by exposing her to social vices such as violence (Allison 72). She is humiliated and no one seems to appreciate anything she does as a person. Their perception is that being a lady, she has no place in the community and the family and therefore has no authority to involve herself in anything meaningful even if it is for the well-being of the same community and family she comes from. The same value Allison gives her family and community is the same value that I give my family and community members and this has given me a chance to develop a kind of resilience that Allison has in dealing with difficulties arising from them. Despite all the humiliation and negativity directed towards me, I still value my family members and community and believe that I have to do all I can in order to change the manner in which everyone in the family and community view things. I believe that one day all of them will also be able to appreciate the value of family and community’s ties.
The Ways Families make it Difficult for their Students to go to College
It is heartbreaking to realize that some families have made it very difficult for their students to go to college even when the community is supportive. One of the ways through which families have achieved this is through being unsupportive towards the students joining colleges. Allison in the book is very positive towards attaining any level of education (Allison 69). However, her step father makes it difficult for her to pursue the same as he exposes them to violence and all of forms of manipulation. Such kind of an attitude from the members of the family who are supposed to be more supportive can never allow students from the families to pursue their college education. It is therefore essential that all family members be supportive in any given capacity towards those members of the family who might want to pursue their education to any given level. This is because the benefits are meant to extend to every member of the family. Another way through which a family can make it difficult for some of their members to go to colleges is by believing and holding onto manipulative cultural beliefs and norms. This is most especially where female members of the family are not considered on the same level as their male counterparts. In this regard, the male counterparts are given priority as compared to their female counterparts. This is the same experience Allison goes through as she is not appreciated as much as the male members of the family are just because she is a lady.
Conclusion
In conclusion, based on Dorothy Allison’s experience, the people around us are integral at determining the kind of people we finally become. They can either impact positively or negatively on our lives and as Allison gives her account, she is fed with a lot of negativity from her family and community members. She is exposed to violence and ridicule but this does not discourage her in pursuing her dream. In fact, it is from the experience that she is able to collect stories which she writes making her a very important figure in the community and family. From her experience, we are encouraged to continue showing our support for families regardless of their experiences they make us to go through as we can use them to turn around our lives for the better.
