Critique Based on “Football Envy at the UN” by Kofi Annan Kofi Annan is a Ghanaian diplomat who served two terms as the first black African secretary general of the United Nations. He and the United Nations co-received “2001 Noble Peace Prize” for their work regarding a better organized and more peaceful world. . In this essay the author states that he wishes people around the World would come together as they do for the World Cup and celebrate common humanity. Despite his impressive work at the UN, “Football Envy at the UN” by Kofi Annan is not a well written essay because the author uses a rather informal tone(.
) The informal tone results in …. assumed thesis is a serious matter as he talks about the United Nations, he does not attempt to prove his claims with examples to back up his argument and lastly, his comparison of the UN to the World Cup and football is illogical as they are not very related.
(the last sentence is a run on sentence, you might want to consider changing it. I tried to put a period after informal tone but I don’t know exactly how you want to set it up to flow coherently)
The author uses an informal tone to convey a noticeably important subject matter such as the UN and human rights. The tone of an essay has great influence on how serious the argument comes across to the reader and being informal creates a more humorous essay. He refers to the United Nations as “us” in his first sentence as well as last paragraph, which makes it sound as if this essay is written on behalf of everyone who is part of the United Nations. This creates confusion because he does not give any information about representing the entire population of the UN. In conclusion, he is only expressing his personal opinions and not the United Nation’s opinion. This personally negatively (take personally negatively out) changed my point of view towards the author and made the essay less significant. The importance of the author’s claim considerably decreases. Also, the words “I wish” are constantly used all through this essay which comes across as desperate and unsuitable. These words are often used by children as they wish for toys and games and not adults.
The author makes various claims in the essay that he either does not provide enough background information about (remove about, or explain what it is about that you are talking about) or cannot prove. He mentions how people from around the world such as in Japan and Paraguay prepare for the World Cup but he is not from either of those countries and he does not provide any information about where this knowledge comes from. This makes the reader wonder whether he is (making these up -> try to use stronger vocabulary) or even if the rest of the information he provides are reliable. Annan refers to as “being part of the family of nations and peoples”(209) to be the most important goal of all. He is making a generalization based on his personal opinions and presenting it as a fact. This does not make it invalid, however depending on the reader he or she may or may not agree with him.
To sum it up, I believe the comparison between the United Nations and the World Cup is an unfitting argument. Firstly, he does not supply us with the kinds of work the UN does; as a result, comparing it would not make much sense until we get some background information about their operations. Even though everyone has heard the name “United Nations” at some point they might still not be clear on their role. Secondly, FIFA has been associated with bribing accusations for years according to BBC News UK so it is inappropriate to compare the UN with such an organization. Also, every team that comes to the World Cup is composed of males only. Some people could assume the author’s political stance is against woman being involved in the UN organization. This could offend the reader as well confuse them as it contradicts his most important goal, “being part of the family of nations and peoples”.
Lastly, each World Cup can have only one winner. If the author is comparing the UN to such event, the message that comes across is that he supports the idea of one country ruling all. This idea also contradicts his “most important goal of all. He also compares international players to immigrants which are not at all the similar. The players switch countries usually because they get larger contracts but, immigrants switch countries due to political issues, lack of jobs or other problems they might have in their home country. Therefore it is not really a relevant comparison, so it can create confusion for the reader as he or she would not be able to make a connection between the World Cup and the UN.
In conclusion, “Football Envy at the UN” by Kofi Annan is not a well-organized essay. The author uses a rather informal tone for such a serious subject matter as he talks about the United Nations, he does not attempt to prove his claims with examples to back up his argument and lastly, his poor comparison of the UN to the World Cup and football as they are not very related.
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Critique Based on “Football Envy at the UN”. (2016, Sep 01). Retrieved from https://graduateway.com/critique-based-on-football-envy-at-the-un/