Interpersonal Communication (Reflective Paper) Interpersonal Communication means the verbal and non-verbal interactions between two or more people. It has become inevitable in today’s society, just like at lunch time, we either goes to a restaurant or fast food stores, waiters always standing by the door welcoming customers and ask them “how many people? ” This is when you need to communicate with the waiter even you don’t want to talk to them. In this reflective paper, I will share my reflections on my personal experiences in observing, communicating and building relationship with my girl friend.
We have been together for nearly 11months now, within the 11months, I have been observing, communicating and building a good relationship with my girlfriend called Kairos. The first time that I saw Kairos was 12 months ago in Central, when I was working as an extra in TVB. At that time, when I first seeing her, I think that she is some kind of autism person with a lot of complains in her mind, because she doesn’t talk to people and she likes to stand at corners by herself.
Which made me assumed that she doesn’t like to communicate with people. I saw her again at work, she was carrying a NDS with her, and I’ve decided to communicate with her. I asked her “hey! You have a NDS? ” “Yes. ” She said. “Do you have Mario Kart the racing game on it? I asked again. She answered “Yes”. I then ask her to play the game with me through wireless. And this was how we communicate with each other for the first time. After me and Kairos are together in a relationship, we usually have arguments through petty things.
There was a time when I was doing my academic essays on my computer, Kairos was beside me, she then talked a lot about clothes, cartoons, movies, hand bags and etc, which I cannot stand her being so noisy. So I have controlled my pressured and ask her “Can you let me finish off my essay first? ” She replied “Do you think I am annoying? ” and this is when argument begins. After the argument, I had to comfort her for like 30minutes, and at the same time I couldn’t finish my essay with my computer.
There was one time when Kairos suggested that we should go to a holiday to Taiwan. At that time, I said to her that is too expensive and nothing special to see at Taiwan. And I’ve suggested that lets go to Mainland China, there are more things to see and it is cheaper. She said “Why are going to Mainland? It’s too danger and I am scared off the crimes and violence I heard on the news. ” And I have told her the reason that I want to go to China for sightseeing, but she didn’t believe that I wanted to go to China for sightseeing. IPC concepts applications
Implicit personality theory- I have form perception on Kairos with my own illogical theory that groups certain characteristics together on her, which I’ve said in paragraph 3 “I think that she is some kind of autism person with a lot of complains in her mind. ” Also, this is the reverse halo effect of implicit personality theory which I had concerned about her with negative qualities. Start a conversation- In paragraph 4, before starting the first conversation with Kairos. I have noticed she had a NDS with her, and I have used ritual question to start our conversation by asking “Do you have Mario Kart the racing game? which I have asked the ritual question based on the NDS. Gender Communication- In paragraph 5, when I was using the computer to work on my academic essay, Kairos was talking to me about clothes, cartoons, movies, hand bags and etc. which made me cannot focus on my work. This is because women are multi-track, they can talk about several subjects at the same time which is different to men, and men can only focus one thing at a time. This is when the problem started, I ask her directly, “Can you let me finish off my essay first? ” and she replied “Do you think I am annoying? This is because men are direct and they are impatient to pick up the real meaning which is different to women, women are sensitive, and consequently, Kairos was angry at me. Kairos should have left me alone until I have finish with my academic essay. Conflict in Interpersonal- In paragraph 6, we had disagreement about going to a holiday, and this has become the negative effects in Nature of Conflict, which have increase negative feelings between me and Kairos. Now I can analyze and resolve the conflict from angles with Edward deBono (1987) the use of six “Thinking Hats”.
White Hat- I wanted to go to mainland China for sightseeing, and she wouldn’t believe me about it. At the same time, she wants to go to Taiwan for holiday, which I have rejected her by saying it’s too expensive. Red Hat- I felt bad, because she doesn’t believe me. Kairos would have felt disappointed because I have rejected her about the trip to Taiwan and she thinks I am forcing her to go China. Green Hat – Solution 1. Hire bodyguard with us during the China trip. Solution 2. Check the crime numbers of specific city beforehand. Solution 3.
Invite friends or relatives to go along. Yellow Hat- Benefits on Solution 1. Increase our personal safety Benefits on Solution 2. Less opportunity being robbed Benefits on Solution 3. Increase our personal safety, Less opportunity being robbed and more funs being with friend and relatives. Black Hat- Solution 1. This might not work because the cost for hiring bodyguards is too high. We could have go to Taiwan with the costs of bodyguards. Solution 2. This might not work because the crime numbers might not be updated and we don’t know the placed very well.
Solution 3. This might not work because friends and relatives might have time to go to China but not Taiwan Blue Hat- The problem was going to China instead of Taiwan, Kairos felt disappointed with me, so I have suggested three solutions to her, and told her about the benefits and disadvantages with each solution. In the end, we will probably choose the third solution, which is invites friends or relatives to go along, because it contains the benefit as well as solution 1 and 2, and also it’ll be more fun to go with friends or relatives.