Lab Assignment #13 - Part 13
More Essay Examples on Education Rubric
· To plan and write a short essay under pressure (a specific time period)
· To practice writing in parallel sentence structures
Planning and Composing in a Timed Situation
Step 1: Attached please find a copy of the Spring 2007 English 104 final examination. Follow the directions carefully. You will spend 90 minutes on this assignment.
Step 2. Read the handout “Parallelism” on page 2. Spend 15 minutes doing the exercises on pages 3 and 4.
Step 3. Edit today’s composition for effective parallel structure.
During Group Lab: The instructor may ask you to score your own essay or the essay of another writer. The instructor will also score your essay. Compare your score (or your peer’s score) with the score given to you by your instructor. During the scoring process, the instructor may ask you to finish the exercises on parallelism.
At the end of Group Lab:
1. Detach front page.
2. Staple front page only to your written work.
3. Turn in your work to lab instructor or assistant.
4. Keep all other material in your lab folder.
Parallelism or parallel structure is an effective way to add smoothness and power to your writing. Parallelism is a balance of two or more similar words, phrases, or clauses.
Compare the two versions of each of these sentences. All items in a series should be in the same grammatical construction.
1. She likes dancing, swimming, and to jog.
CORRECTED: She likes dancing, swimming, and jogging.
2. The cable runs across the roof; the north wall is where it runs down.
CORRECTED: The cable runs across the roof and down the north wall.
3. He admires people with strong convictions and who think for themselves.
CORRECTED: He admires people who have strong convictions and who think for themselves.
· Sentences 2, 4, and 6 use parallelism to express parallel ideas.
· In sentence 2, dancing, swimming, and jogging are parallel; all three are the -ing forms of verbs used here as nouns.
· In sentence 4, across the roof and down the north wall are parallel prepositional phrases, each consisting of a preposition and its object.
· In sentence 6, who have strong convictions and who think for themselves are parallel clauses beginning with the word who.
· Sometimes two entire sentences can be parallel.
Rewrite each of the following sentences using parallel structure to accent parallel ideas.
Example: The summer in Louisiana is very hot and has high humidity.
Rewrite: The summer in Louisiana is very hot and humid.
1. Teresa is a gifted woman–a chemist, does the carpentry, and she can cook.
Teresa is a gifted chemist, carpenter and cook.
2. The shape of the rock, how big it was, and its color reminded me of a small elephant.
The shape, weight and color of the rock reminded me of a small elephant.
3. Chia, my dog, is overweight and moves clumsily.
My dog Chia is overweight and moves clumsily. ____________
4. Your job consists of arranging the books, cataloguing new arrivals, and the pamphlets have to be alphabetized.
Your job consists of arranging the books, cataloguing new arrivals and alphabetizing the
5. A thin film of frost coated the trees. The hedges and shrubs had it also.
A thin film of frost coated the trees, hedges, and shrubs.
(please turn the page)
6. He is an affectionate husband, a thoughtful son, and kind to his kids.
He is an affectionate husband, a thoughtful son, and kind father.
7. Ojen was happy to win the bowling tournament, and he also felt surprised.
Ojen was both happy and surprised to win the bowling tournament.
8. He is a poet of great talent and who is insightful.
He is a poet of great talent and insight.
9. Dr. Tien is the kindest physician I know; she has the most concern of any physician I know.
Dr. Tien is the kindest and most concerned physician I know.
Spring 2007 Name: ______________________
Evergreen Valley College
ESL 91/ENGLISH 104
You will have 100 minutes to complete this writing task. Please take at least 20 minutes to prewrite. Consider the question carefully and plan what you will say. Write your composition in a green examination booklet.
Ours is an open, fast-moving society—equipped with cars, trains, and planes. This makes it too easy for us to move away from the people and places of our past. Several generations of a single family used to live together in the same house. Today few even live together in the same neighborhood. We sometimes must travel long distances in order for grandchildren and grandparents to spend time together. Often we lose track of old friends we never see again.
As a result of this phenomenon, we tend to lack the close, supportive relationships that people in former generations enjoyed. Can there be any doubt that the disadvantages of living in such a highly mobile society clearly outweigh the advantages?
In a well-developed essay:
explain Shirley’s attitude in this passage
state the extent to which you agree or disagree with his views.
· Prewrite for ideas.
· Be sure to have a clearly focused thesis or main idea.
· Support that main idea with specific, concrete examples and evidence.
· Organize your sentences carefully and punctuate correctly; avoid fragments and run-on sentences.
· Use appropriate transitions to connect your ideas clearly.
Additional Instructions for lab assignment 13
Please make sure to include a thesis statement, several topic sentences that relates to the information as well as the body and conclusion. Please use transitional words such as therefore, however, in addition, nevertheless.
The author believes that modern society has encouraged both physical and emotional distances among people. Whereas before families and friends live close to each other, the availability and convenience of transportation has created a highly mobile society. People simply move from one place to another for jobs and other opportunities. However, people may have become mobile but this doesn’t mean that we have decreased the number of close, supportive relationships. It is still as it was. Societies, along with everything else, have evolved but these relationship types have remained.
The closeness among family and friends may not be physical anymore, but still there. Communication has developed alongside transportation. People send e-mails to old friends and families. They make new friends through chat rooms and personal web pages like Facebook and MySpace. It is not a matter of physical closeness that matters. Before, people lived close to each other but when they could not get along with each other, it would still be as if the houses were far apart, anyway.
The mobile society has actually made the family unit more significant to its members. With few people to interact with and depend upon in times of need, family members become more protective of each other. The degree of closeness is not measured by distance. Before, family members may have been living near each other, but when the members harbor dislike against each other, it would still be as if they were strangers living in one house.
Finally, people who are supportive of each other would come into each other’s aid regardless of distance. People, then and now, make friends, keep some for life and forget others after some time. Furthermore, it is not important whether the friends we make are from childhood, from another state where we spent about 5 years in the past, or from the present where we only expect to stay for 3 years. It is ultimately a choice with the individual whether he would like to exert the effort to keep in touch and keep the friendship.