Introduction
The early Roman times treated families like small Greek states. This was between 600BC and 1AD, the age before the Imperial age. Every person in a family lived in one home. This included the great grandparents down to the children. The oldest male in the family setting was the head regardless of his title. Families did not share exactly the same customs though. Each had their own rules as these were decided by the head of the family. The head had total authority over the other members and owned the property. He had power over life and death even over the other older members in the setting.
The head was also responsible for the actions of the members of his family. He could be punished foe a crime committed by another member and had power to order one out of the house. Women however had no authority in the home. Their job was bearing children and taking care of the household.
In Roman times, marriage was a sacred affair where men married in their mid twenties. Women married in their teenage. At the respective ages, their parents often consulted with friends who assisted in finding suitable partners who could at least elevate the class the family belonged to or improve their wealth. Divorce was not known.
Thesis statement
Unlike in modern day romantic marriages, marriage in ancient Rome was an arrangement between two families and not romantic in any way.
Discussion: Roman marriages
The wedding ceremony
Most of out marriage traditions stemmed from the Roman weddings. Engagement was for instance symbolized by a ring on the middle finger of the girl’s left hand. The bride attended her wedding in a white dress with a veil. She was accompanied by a bridesmaid. A girl was ready for marriage at the age of fourteen. The father made all the arrangements besides choosing the potential husband. He chose the size of the dowry with the family of the groom (Ancient Roman family and marriage). The most important consideration was economic status and the inter-family relations at the expense of love.
The wedding day was chosen with care to avoid any ill omen. There was a ceremony which involved religious elements and signing of a marriage contact, later followed by feasting for the associates of the two families.
On the wedding morning, the bride was dressed by her mother. A belt around the waist in the knot of Hercules was very significant. Hercules was believed to be the guardian of marriage (Grubbs, 2002). The knot could only be untied by the husband. Her veil was crowned by a wreath of flowers that the bride gathered.
The article, Ancient Roman family and marriage, writes that the wedding ceremony took place at the bride’s father’s house. There had to be at least ten witnesses for it to be legal. The bride consented to the marriage through a chant; when and where you are Gaius, I then and there am Gaia. The couple then sat on stools, facing the alter, where an offering to the god Jupiter was made. It comprised a cake. The cake was then eaten by the couple. The guests thereafter offered their congratulations. Dinner followed after which pieces of cake were passed around like is done today. Torchbearers arrived at the bride’s father’s house. During this time, the bride’s mother held her and the groom pretended to force her out of her mother’s arms.
The bride was thereafter escorted to the groom’s house. On the way, nuts were thrown at the couple. This is also similar to the throwing of rice today. The bride chanted the consent outside her new home again. The bride wound the doorposts with wool to signify the nature of her work as the mistress in the household. She also used oil and fat to anoint the door to signify plenty. The husband then carried her over the threshold. The man offered his wife fire and water, a symbol of the life they would live together henceforth. The fireplace was prepared for a fire which the bride made with a special marriage torch carried before her during the procession to her new home. After lighting the fire, the torch was blown out and thrown to the guests who scrambled for it. This resembles what the bride does today with her flower bouquet.
The Marriage
According to Pellison (2005), polygamy in the Roman times was forbidden. Divorce was unheard of. This meant that care had to be taken on choosing a suitable marriage partner. Marriage was not allowed between relatives distant to the fourth level or anyone connected to the family through marriage. The marriage had to be approved. Approval was achieved in three steps. To begin with, it had to be shown in public before the wedding ceremony. This was done by, for instance, holding hands in public. Second, there was an engagement period which however was not a legal requirement. It was accompanied by an engagement ring. It was believed that there was a nerve that ran from the third finger to the heart. Finally, the woman presented her birth locket to her father on the eve of the wedding. She then tried on her wedding tunic.
Treggiari (1993) writes of Roman marriages in Roman Marriage. She says that there was a symbolic bed installed in the entrance hall of the Roman house. This was a reminder that there was the intention of accommodating a woman in that house who would become a mother. Marriage brought the wife into the household after the proper marriage rituals. The purpose of the marriage was to change the status of a woman from a young maid or virgo to a mother or mater. Marriage was only consummated when the first born was born. This was in order since marriage was mainly for procreation (Marriage).
There were basically two types of marriage in the Roman times. There was the more conventional marriage which is more ancient. Here, the woman automatically became a member of the husband’s family. Before her marriage, the woman had her inheritance rights with her family. This changed when she changed households. She now had her rights in the new home. The traditional form of marriage saw to it that she was now under the authority of her husband (Treggiari, 1993; Pellison, 2005).
On the other hand, there was free marriage or sine manu. In this latter marriage, the woman remained a part of her old family. Her father had authority over her and her inheritance rights were with her original family. She had no inheritance rights with the groom’s family. This latter type of marriage could be called off by simple separation of the couple. All it needed was for the husband to pass on a message to the wife that he wished to annul the marriage.
The free marriage was only conducted within noble households. It was therefore not possible for one family to insult the other. Both sides were involved in the separation. In these households, engagement lasted a long time. The bride could even live with the family of the groom prior to the wedding.
After the wedding, the woman is exposed to two kinds of fate. Having three or more children earns her respect as a mother. She is envied as a wife and is generally accepted by the community. Infertility however puts her at the risk of repudiation. She suffers threats. She returns to her father’s house with her dowry and could even become free upon the death of her father. It is also unfortunate that many women died before the fulfillment of any of these. Childbirth claimed the lives of a great number of women at the time (Grubbs, 2002).
The law on Roman marriages
Marriage was governed by specific laws. The bride and groom had to be Roman citizens if it was to be considered proper. If they were not, they had to be granted special permission or ‘conubium’. At some point, freed slaves could not marry citizens. This was changed by Emperor Augustus in 18BC in a reform dubbed lex Julia. However, they still could not marry senators. In his reign, citizens could not marry actresses or prostitutes. Provincial officials could not marry local women. Unfaithful wives once divorced were forbidden from remarrying (Weddings marriage and divorce).
Marriages were made legal by a number of set criteria. Both the bride and groom or their families had to give consent. Additionally, the pater familias could not refuse consent unless there was valid reason to do so. The bride and groom had to be adults which means in the allowed age group. They both had to be never married before and not close relatives.
If all the requirements were fulfilled, the children born of the couple were legitimate. This is if the parties were Roman citizens. The children then possessed all the civil rights. Nevertheless, if one of the parties was a Roman citizen and the other was not fully Roman, the children took the status of the father (Weddings marriage and divorce). This means that if the father, was a citizen, the children were, and if he was a foreigner, so were his children.
The status of women in marriage
Marriage moved a woman from the authority of her father to that of her husband, his father of grandfather (Pellison, 2005). Pellison adds that the pater familias or senior father had total control over all members. Any possession the woman had upon her marriage was passed on to the senior father of the groom’s family. A woman could bring into the marriage whatever her family gave her. These could include clothes, jewelry, furniture and slaves. In the poor families the woman did all the work in the household. However in middle class and rich families, she had servants to do the work (Pellison, 2005).
Romance was never a factor in choosing a suitable partner. Nevertheless, love and affection developed between the man and wife. The woman’s legal status was not so attractive. In addition to her job in the household, the woman was the hostess to visiting friends if the husband was not at home. A Roman mother exercised influence in the decision-making process in the family.
Despite being under the authority of her husband, a woman, upon marriage occupied a very high position in the household. She became the household’s absolute mistress. She has authority to oversee the education of her children and the servants. She could also help out with the family business and attended public games, theatres and religious ceremonies of the state (Marriage and customs and Roman women). A woman could also testify in a court of law and even defend a case. Her birthday was a sacred event.
Conclusion
Going as far back as the second century before Christ, there was an Imbalance between the number of men who wished to marry and the available women. Divorces increased and fertile women were remarried. In this case, a woman who had been observed to be capable of bearing children could be passed from one family to the other for the purpose of procreation. Frequent marriage became the means for nobility to enlarge their network of relations and the general political support it enjoyed. This was not applicable among the homes of commoners even though divorce and remarriage were just as common. Marriage changed from a sacred institution, which is what it began as, and became an avenue where men and women could lend one another their female relatives (daughter, sister or even wife) for the purpose of bearing children (Marriage).
Treggiari (1993) says that some Romans claimed that there was nothing worse than marriage. They only went through it because it was necessary to produce children. This is confirmation that marriage was an arrangement made for the sole intention of procreation. Men married because they could not avoid it, because they had a responsibility to continue the family line or because they wanted to found a family line.
This does not imply that children were only born to married couples. The Romans who got children had several but there were also children born out of wedlock. Men who did not marry lived with freed women or slaves. Children from such arrangements bore the father’s name if he chose to allow them. However, they did not assume the social position he held.
Reference:
“Ancient Roman family and marriage.” Retrieved on June 11, 2009
http://www.crystalinks.com/romefamily.html
Grubbs, Judith. (2002). Women and the law in the Roman Empire: A sourcebook on
marriage, divorce and widowhood. NetLibrary, Inc. CRC Press.
“Marriage.” Retrieved on June 11, 2009
http://www.roman-empire.net/society/soc-marriage.html
“Marriage and customs and Roman women.” Retrieved on June 11, 2009
http://www.classicsunveiled.com/romel/html/marrcustwom.html
Pellison, Maurice. (2005). Women and marriage during roman times. Kessinger
Publishing
Treggiari, Susan. (1993). Roman marriage: Iusti Coniuges from the time of Cicero to the
time of Ulpian. Oxford; Claendon Press.
“Weddings marriage and divorce.” Retrieved on June 11, 2009
http://www.pbs.org/empires/romans/empire/weddings.html
