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Stop All Forms Of Violence: In Romantic Relationship

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    Violence against women and girls still exist no matter the age, race, or class. Women everywhere are still suffering against physical, sexual, psychological, and economic aggression from men. Violence amongst women and girls are established in gender-based discrimination as well as social norms and gender stereotypes that supports and prolongs violence. The traumatic effect that these violent attacks have on women, are generally focused on the responses of those survivors. However, there are many ways to prevent these violent attacks from happening in the first place, one being to address the problem at hand by finding out what the cause was and why it lead to where it did. Prevention starts early in life, simply educating young boys and girls about respectful relationships as well as gender equality can make a big difference.

    For decades there has been gender discrimination, everyone always looked at men as being stronger than women or the go getter, and because of that it resulted in men feeling more dominant in all ways shape and forms. In the article “Why does it happen? Explanations for men’s violence against women by women with interpersonal victimization histories” by Julia R. Gefter she specifies that when “men and women gain more equal status under the law, the risk for MVAW may increase, as men may feel pressure to use more frequent or severe violence to maintain their advantaged position.” Today in our society, we are all still striving for equality against gender discrimination. In the Poem “To All the Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before” by Mayda Del Valle, she explains the idea of how men rooted this unfair role for woman where they can talk to them any kind of way and do as they please , and women are suppose to stay around regardless of how they are being treated. In De Valle’s poem she opens our eyes to the way men expect women to care for them, She states “You have been weaned from the breast of a woman for years / yet you come to us” (Valle, line 4-5). Expressing that men expect their woman to take on that “motherly role” in making sure their always comfortable despite everything that they put us through.

    Women will go through the ups and downs just to please their men, the cheating, the lies, arguments and tears, even lowering their standards because their used to the cycle of their relationship. Men have treated women in many ways just to suit their needs, not only do they expect woman to stick around through the bullshit but they also expect women to practically be sex slaves for them. Women will literally know that their man is out with another, yet she’ll stay because she’s already accustomed to waiting for her unfaithful man all hours of the night. She is even willing to give herself to him at the end of the day, because she has already accepted less than what she deserves. This is something that men can’t relate to, because they’re the ones who set up these dynamics with a woman where it’s easy for them to get and or take whatever they want from them without giving anything in return. Unless there is change, men will always be able to walk over women without any regard to their well being after the fact. However, even though these roles for men and women have been vested, change is very doable and can happen through the realization of what is really wrong.

    First and foremost, our society needs to stress the importance of changing the way we think in order to realize and truly understand that violence against women is extremely important and very much so a men’s issue. Consequently, men play a major role in the solution to violence against women, calling it a “women’s issue” is one of the biggest part of the problem. Men don’t want to take accountability for their actions when it comes to a woman being mistreated, instead they rather blame the victim (the women) rather than the predator (the man). However, is it safe to say that maybe the male has been victimized once before? That can certainly be the case, being that it is common for a man to be a victim of violence when they were younger. In which can very well be the reason as to why they become predators when they get older. Although this is very true it doesn’t make it okay, there is no reason nor any excuse as to why men should carry on the frustration from their past and plant it on women that they encounter in their future. Do men ever think about the magnitude of their actions, and what it can cause or how it can leave a women feeling. It’s extremely selfish and no one should ever be put through such behavior by their significant other.

    Any kind of violence amongst women should never be acceptable, the only reason why it’s still going on in our society today is because we make it look as if it is okay when in reality it’s really not. What’s crazy is how no one really like/wants to step in when its happening in our face, why is that? Don’t you know that if you’re a witness to any sort of violence amongst men and women and you choose not to speak up, your just as much of at fault and a predator as the one doing the damage. In Jackson Katz’s video “Violence against Women: It’s a Men’s Issue” he quotes one of Dr. Martin Luther Kings speech, stating that “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Although this does seem easier said than done our society is so quick to blame the women, they will go from “Ike hit Tina” to “Tina is a battered woman,” and completely forget about why Tina was even battered to begin with. Why is it that we question the victims of violence asking questions such as (Well why would she be doing that? Or well what was she wearing?), rather than questioning the mens character, when they are the ones who are at fault. It’s actually extremely difficult/challenging for men to speak up when it comes to these issue.

    In fact it’s much easier for society to point their finger at the victim and claims “she wanted it, or she asked for it.” In the article “Victim, Risqué, Provocateur: Popular Cultural Narratives Of Rihanna’s Experience Of Intimate Partner Violence” it talks about the relationship of two artists in which the woman was abused by her then boyfriend, it states that we need to “maintain attention to men’s culpability for violence in intimate heterosexual relationships, rather than continuing explicit and implicit ‘victim’ blaming”. In the article “Violent Women? The Challenge of Women’s Violence in Intimate Heterosexual Relationships to Feminist Analyses of Partner ViolenceViolent Women? The Challenge of Women’s Violence in Intimate Heterosexual Relationships to Feminist Analyses of Partner Violence” by Viveka Enander , she makes it clear that we need to still “acknowledge that women, as well as men, have the ability to be violent. However, women are more likely to be the victims rather the perpetrators of violent crime. Either way any form of violence is wrong, and the main focus is the importance of speaking up and not being a bystander whether you see a man being abusive or a woman.

    Violence against women needs to end immediately, woman shouldn’t be suffering against physical, sexual, psychological, and economic aggression from the ones that they love. These violent attacks and experiences are very traumatic and leave life changing effects on many woman. Older men get involved in educating these young boys on how to properly treat s women, talk to them about gender equality so that they do go through life thinking their superior and can belittle and treat women any kind of way. Older women it’s important that we educate these young women to know their worth and value, talk to them and explain the importance of not accepting bullshit for the heck of keeping a man around. Letting both genders know that they are so much more than the “norm” and can do so much better when it comes to relationships and respect. This realization itself will help develop more independent and respected women, as well as respectable men.

    Work Cited

    1. Valle, Mayda Del. ‘To All the Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before.’ 7 July2010. Poem.
    2. Katz, Jackson. “Violence against Women: It’s a Men’s Issue.” TED: Ideas Worth
    3. Houlihan, Annette; Raynor, Sharon D. Australian Feminist Studies. Sep2014, Vol. 29 Issue 81, p325-341. 17p.
    4. Enander, Viveka. NORA: Nordic Journal of Women’s Studies. Jun2011, Vol. 19 Issue 2, p105-123. 19p. 1
    5. Gefter, Julia R.; Rood, Brian A.; Valentine, Sarah E.; Bankoff, Sarah M.; Pantalone, David W. Journal of Gender Studies. Apr2017, Vol. 26 Issue 2, p133-150. 18p. 2 Charts.

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