The narrator, an eighteen-year-old boy attending High School and a member of a gang, feels inferior to his tougher companions due to his guilt and lack of enthusiasm for teasing the overweight classmate. While the rest of the gang eagerly anticipates humiliating the fat kid, the narrator wrestles with internal conflict. He is torn between his responsibility to participate in the cruelty as a gang member and his own moral reluctance. Thus, he finds himself trapped, unable to align his thoughts and emotions with his actions.
The narrator remains silent because he fears losing his friends, as they are his social environment. He considers Miles Morgan, Ronnie Dougan, Terrance “Terry” Smalls, and Jay O’Neal to be his friends, family, and brothers. These individuals are the only people he can rely on. If he were to express his thoughts and they disapprove, he would be left with nothing but loneliness. No one desires to be alone, especially when faced with the choice between friendship and support or losing everything. Therefore, despite knowing it is incorrect, he chooses to feel guilty and appreciate what he possesses.
The central theme of the story revolves around the powerful influence of peer pressure. Unfortunately, within a gang, having an individual opinion is impossible. The narrative exemplifies how emotions cannot guide actions in such a setting. The protagonist is compelled to partake in acts of cruelty, with certain gangs like MS-13 taking it to extreme measures. To join this gang, one must endure either physical assault or sexual abuse, and upon initiation, leaders demand acts of murder. Once involved, there is no turning back, as disobedience brings consequences. All of these actions are driven by the relentless force of peer pressure. Despite feeling remorseful, the narrator’s emotions hold little sway over their actions under these circumstances.
