Deforestation satire

So, what am I going to talk about? Well, how about I make this easy for you and just spit it out? -pause- *sigh* Well fine then, it you want a proper introduction, then here it is: Have you ever decided to just go for a nice walk outside to get some exercise and enjoy the sun? (well if not, let’s pretend that you have for the purpose of this essay). And then, out of nowhere, you realize that something is missing. That THING, is actually something really quite important. In fact, your life depends on it. Well that THING, ladies and gentlemen, is the forest, and the birds and the bees and the flowers and the, well: trees! OK, I know that this probably hasn’t really happened to you, (the whole, “OMG, the forest disappeared!” thing), but I assure you that it has occurred in Australia and South America, where rain forests are burnt and cut down every year. So there you have it: deforestation. Yes, that’s right, I have finally gotten to the topic, and in case you couldn’t tell by now, I am very much against this current issue in our world. Let me explain to you, as best as I can, what the world would be like without trees, and why we need them.

All righty then, to start, I want you to close your eyes (please don’t actually do this until you have read the following) and try to imagine a world without trees or plants of any kind and there you are – oh wait, I just remembered. You wouldn’t be there, because, well, plants and trees are one of our major sources of oxygen, therefore, without them, we would all be DEAD. Unless you want to consider that everyone should wear an air bubble around their heads. That might work, plus the amount of germs would go down. Though you’d probably suffocate from breathing the same carbon-intoxicated air over and over and over again. Of course, you might say, what about a bio dome? Well that option is out of the question, because it would be way too claustrophobic with all those people trapped in one place. Plus, the smell would be absolutely unbearable. Yuck! To explain further, trees and forests have an essential role in our lives. That role is simply to breathe in and out. And no, I don’t mean like us humans, who inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. Instead, trees and plants do the opposite: they inhale carbon dioxide during photosynthesis, a cycle that allows plants to create their own food by using energy from the sun’s rays (if only we could do that, then we could cut down all of the forests in the world!) then, during what is called respiration, plants exhale clean oxygen into the atmosphere just for us! I mean, some people say we can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important! Can you imagine couples trying to hug and kiss, meanwhile, they are choking or turning blue in the face? Impossible.

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Another major consequence of deforestation is the fact that there are hundreds and thousands of species losing their homes. Without their habitations, wild animals such as wolves, foxes and possums will be forced to find a new home. But since there are no forests, they will end up in your garden, or on the side of the road. I highly doubt that you’ll want to wipe bloody guts off of your windshields every morning on your way to work. This is very sad and also inhuman. In what world do we kill hundreds of species just so that we can write on paper and do our homework? I mean, of course I know that teaching and learning are essential parts of our lives, but with today’s growing technology, we should certainly be able to come up with a new way to eliminate the use of paper (and hopefully homework too).

On a more personal approach, deforestation also means that the scenery will change. Many people probably don’t care about this, but I certainly do. As I’m sure all of the artists, gardeners, photographers, directors, landscapers, hunters, campers and tree-huggers do too. Never mind, that actually does seem like a lot of people, so maybe all hope is not yet lost. Plus, we can’t forget the young members of our future generation who have gotten “naturalist” on their annoying multiple intelligence quizzes at school. Alright, I realize I have gone off topic, so back to scenery. As I have already mentioned, cutting and burning down forests will leave empty fields where there had once been beautiful, magical woods where fairytales could come to life! Therefore, there will be no shade to hide from the sun, and the earth will quickly become dry and hard. Hence, farmers won’t even be able to use the extra space for agriculture. What is more, large masses of trees also provide extra protection from strong wind and heavy storms. Thus, without them, you will need to watch out when you use your umbrella, or else you just might fly away like Mary Poppins! Hey, that kinda sounds like fun. Though, on a more serious note, the strong winds and changes in temperature can be very harmful to other plants, animals and humans. So watch out, or else nature might just blow you away!

To conclude, I will give you a very simple solution to avoid all of the previous statements from happening. All you have to do is never cut down a tree in your life. Not even a single branch! Okay, I realize this isn’t really realistic since everyone “needs” wood and paper, but the least you could do is plant a tree for everyone you destroy. You could also buy your own piece of land, grow a forest (granted, this may well take your whole life), and watch as animals and other living organisms start to bring it to life. Furthermore, you could have your very own fairytale within its depths, all the while breathing healthy, oxygen-filled air! Well, maybe not completely healthy, but don’t get me started on pollution. Other than that, you will have a happy ending with your prince charming (or princess)! Then, I give you permission to say “I told you so” about love being more important that oxygen, though I’m not all that convinced. I’d like to see you write an essay trying to convince me of that!

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Deforestation satire. (2016, Aug 03). Retrieved from