In today’s world, it is crucial to define what constitutes a genuine friendship, especially considering the prevalence of online connections and social media platforms like Facebook. While these platforms provide opportunities for people to stay in touch with old friends or acquaintances and keep up with their lives, they cannot fully replace the physical presence and deep connection found in true friendships.
Social media platforms such as Facebook, MySpace, or Instagram provide a means for people to stay connected and informed about each other’s lives. In the past, maintaining friendships required physical visits, phone calls, or letter writing which demanded considerable effort. During that era, individuals who were not close friends would eventually fade away from one’s social network. However, in today’s world it is possible to remain connected with those who would have otherwise become distant. With just a few clicks, anyone from any location can be added as a “friend.” These digital connections offer support during difficult times and facilitate the sharing of joyful moments.
In her article “Friends with Benefits,” Kate Dailey explores how friends on social media, specifically Facebook, can offer support and encouragement. She acknowledges the limited research on the social implications of Facebook (219). The article examines how online friends can provide comfort during times of loss or success. When experiencing a tragedy like losing a job, spouse, child, or any other devastating event, individuals may find solace in their virtual friends who can offer words of encouragement and support. However, it is uncertain if these friendships can match the level of support provided by in-person friends.
Having someone who can offer genuine condolences is preferable to receiving a frowning face on a social media website. People tend to prefer connecting with real individuals during difficult times, as true friends are actively involved in each other’s lives. These desired friends will share more than just a screen name, fostering a deeper connection. In times of crisis, individuals can find solace in various forms of support, such as comforting words, a comforting presence, or kind actions. Online friends may provide written words of assistance or encouragement, but they lack the ability to offer the same level of human interaction as flesh and blood friends can.
On the opposite side is support when there’s good things happening in one’s life like kids, job and other accomplishments. When a goal is met or some other great event occurs in someone’s life online friends can be supportive with words or smiley faces. “Before the internet we wouldn’t see our acquaintances very often: every once in a while, we might show up at a wedding and suddenly have 100 of our closest friends around” (Daly 219). There’s an endorphin release when people receive good news or words of encouragement but nothing can compare to the feeling for actual human to human contact. Flesh and blood friends can do more than send each other a message or post a comment on a page or picture. Many people gather with their friends and do things such as BBQ’s, dinners, birthday parties, and even go on vacations together. Many friendships are built over time and through ups and downs they share together, some over many years. Having online friends express well wishes is great but nothing beats a real friend walking up with a smile congratulating you for some success.
Shelley E. Taylor, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles, suggests that despite having numerous online friends, individuals typically only maintain a small group of close friends (Dailey 219). Although many may feel more important with a large number of so-called friends on social media platforms, in reality they only stay connected with a few due to time constraints. The distinction between friends and acquaintances is often blurred online, leading people to mistakenly believe they can rely on everyone they interact with on these sites. However, when help is needed, can one truly depend on individuals outside their core group of friends? It’s worth mentioning that there is a significant number of social media users over the age of 35 who still utilize platforms like Facebook; in fact, it had 67.5 million U.S. visitors in April according to ComScore Inc. (Dailey 219). This increasing number of older users can likely be attributed to their desire to reconnect with past acquaintances.
My friends list was surveyed to find out why they chose their Facebook friends. Responses varied, with many wanting to reconnect with lost contacts and others curious about past relationships. Surprisingly, some admitted using Facebook to keep tabs on ex-partners. Parents found it helpful for monitoring their children’s social circles, while military personnel used it to stay connected globally. Grandparents relied on Facebook for updates on grandchildren instead of waiting for calls or letters, now being able to see pictures and message instantly.
While having Facebook friends can offer some support, it cannot match the support provided by real-life friendships. However, there are several factors to consider. Sharing personal experiences on social media during difficult times allows acquaintances who have faced similar situations to offer advice or support. This shared experience can make the situation feel more manageable and less lonely as others can relate (Dailey 220). Additionally, informing people about your struggles enables them to guide you towards support groups. Online platforms also provide a safe space where frustrations can be freely expressed without attacking anyone. On the positive side, you can receive support and reassurance from others in tough times or after a positive experience. Nevertheless, it is important to acknowledge that nothing can replace the warmth and brain-boosting endorphins gained from face-to-face human interaction. Furthermore, one cannot physically send someone a casserole through Facebook (Dailey 220).
The addition of applications and emotions cannot replace the irreplaceable value of a real friend that can be seen and touched. Being around others and spending time with those who truly know us is an inherent need for humans. While some may have numerous online friends, most only have a small core group of friends. Real friends are more involved than online friends who may only offer casual well-wishes on special occasions dictated by social media notifications or give sympathy. During difficult times, a real friend will sit and listen, bring food when sick, or visit you in the hospital after giving birth to a baby. You can call a real friend anytime during the night for help, whereas an “online” friend might only send a message or comment days or weeks later. Nonverbal communication is more significant in human interaction than verbal communication as actions speak louder than words.
