When you received this letter, I will no longer be here. Ever since I was a child, you were always so affectionate towards me, brother. When I was 13, I received my first lipstick. It was a present from you. And for my Prom dance, you gave me that beautiful pink lace dress. It was my favorite. I even let my hair grew long for your liking. Used the perfume you loved so much, wore the necklace you gifted me last spring. You watched me like vulture scavenging for its dinner. You always said I was beautiful and gave me kisses. But that time, I saw it, brother. I saw your true face below your mask. And ever since that day I saw it…I was trying to escape from your accursed charm. That is why I chose that man.
He carried the aroma of the summer sunlight. Maybe if I had stayed with him, I might have been happy. Because he was your polar opposite. No matter how I looked for it there was nothing in him to remind me for you. That why I chose him…but we already said our farewells, him and I. I was always out of luck when times became rough.
I know you, brother. When I’m gone, You’ll pretend that you’re searching for me with all your heart and soul. You want everyone to say “ah, he cares so deeply for his sister! He must be in so much pain now…” I’m sure nobody would realize the truth. Yes. when it comes to you, I am sure luck will be on your side. The truth about your face below the mask.
In that basement, secretly and silently, you keep hidden from the world your greatest secret. You feigned the disappearance of your own baby sister. The truth you imprisoned me in the basement of our home. You put shackles on my wrists to the bed. You confined me. You drove me to a suicide.
“I never want to be apart from you. I want you to stay with me and only me,’ “How can you even think of an engagement with that man? You are only mine. Ever since we were children..” “Don’t look at anyone else with those eyes. I won’t let anyone else hear that voice.” “You’ll never smile like that for anyone. Or else how can I stop myself from tearing off those eyes and that neck…!” “Even if you don’t speak, even if you detest me, I don’t mind. I want you to be by my side.” But this time I will escape from you. I will never make the same mistake twice.
I’ve arranged everything. In one week’s time for the moment I go missing, he and the authorities will receive letters from me. That right, brother. Things will not go your way anymore. Of course, they will search this basement. This will be the end of our secret affair. This is my revenge brother. But… somewhere deep inside me, I thought if you loved me, even this was fine with me.
Hey, brother, did you know? That you saw in me your own reflection… that you loved me because I had the same blood as you… Was that really me? Was “I” the one wearing that black dress’ was “my” long black hair trailing behind? Was “I” the one who put on my lipstick and danced in the moonlit night? Who was the one you were watching with those endearing eyes? Whom did you call “so beautiful” and whom did you kiss? Whom was the one bound in chains you made love to? That wasn’t me at all, was it? Hey brother, did you know? You were one corrupt, perfectly white flower yearning for its own reflection in the calm waters…
