Theories of Love by Harville Hendrix

Table of Content
Everyone finally meets the adult male or adult female of their dreams. Whether it’s online or in your local food market shop. everyone is bound to run into their perfect lucifer. Harmonizing to Harville Hendrix. the writer of the article The Mystery of Attraction. he mentions that there are three theories that he has noticed or have looked more into and he besides has his ain theory. The three theories that he mentions are as follows: biological theory. exchange theory. and the character theory. When it comes to his ain theory. Hendrix states that of the witting theory.

Although Hendrix provides in deepness item of the three theories. I do non hold in those theories and hence believe in Hendrix’ ain theory. The first theory that Hendrix describes is that of the biological theory. which means that adult females select work forces who are that of “alpha” qualities. They choose work forces who will supply for their future household or supply themselves with nourishment. Society makes work forces experience that they have all the weight on their shoulders and work forces are made to carry through the manful responsibilities.

When I look for certain work forces. I choose work forces that have an attractive personality. Some people merely take the expressions. but I focus more on the manner he portrays himself in forepart of me and other people. My dating experience has been bumpy and decelerate these past old ages. I have merely had one fellow and have learned nil. As everyone ever says that you ever happen your psyche mate in college. I believe that to be true. As I have non found one yet. I still believe in that sentiment. As I see everyone else traveling out with their boyfriends/girlfriends. it makes me experience sad.

This essay could be plagiarized. Get your custom essay
“Dirty Pretty Things” Acts of Desperation: The State of Being Desperate
128 writers

ready to help you now

Get original paper

Without paying upfront

I was ne’er much of a societal individual when it comes to run into other people. Therefore. I do non hold with this theory because I believe that it is non all about taking your mate on their physical traits. but more on their personality. The 2nd theory Hendrix explains in item is that of the exchange theory. He clarifies that the choice of our couples is determined by the equality of our picks. We focus more on the physical visual aspect instead than the personality he/she portrays. I have noticed that a batch in my 18 old ages of life.

A batch of my former friends and schoolmates would state. “Oh. he/she is hot. I am traveling to travel for him/her! ” They already pick out their “future” boyfriend/girlfriend at first sight. They try to acquire that guy/girl every bit near as to themselves as they can! Some go to extreme steps like the narrative my friend told me. This narrative was about a cat who carefully picked out his girlfriend on the beautiful qualities she possessed. He was dumbfounded on the perfect qualities she portrayed when they hung out. As he got to cognize her more. she was non as what she seemed to be.

He realized that the beauty she possessed on the exterior was non as reasonably on the interior. She acted really dreadfully to him and treated him like he was refuse. After that. he focused more on the personality of a miss. instead than the beauty. Traveling off that narrative. I disagree with the exchange theory because if you go off this theory. it will take to the devastation of love. The 3rd and concluding theory that Hendrix concludes with is that of the character theory. This theory states that whoever your mate is they should hike up your self-esteem when you are seen with this individual.

A character. which is a 2nd image we portray to other people. comes in consequence when we are with our psyche mate. We act a certain manner around our boyfriend/girlfriend. but when we are around other people or in public. we tend to hold a 2nd personality towards them. It is kind of like a two faced individual. Society likes to see an all-round good individual in public. They do non wish to see a individual who is contradictory towards themself. Not being yourself is doing yourself seem that you are non confident with your self-esteem and want to go this kind of individual.

Reasoning with the concluding theory. I disagree with this theory because you are non supposed to be a 2nd individual around society but non portray the same ego that you normally do around your boyfriend/girlfriend. Hendrix states 3 theories that do non look to work. His ain theory. the witting theory. seems to travel along to what seems to be the personality of the individual. instead than the expressions. Sing my friends acquiring asked to prom and homecoming throughout my high school calling was barbarous. Always seeing them happy and holding so much merriment every clip was atrocious. Always being the 3rd wheel was terrorizing.

Everyone experiences this sometime in their life. whether it is towards themselves or seeing it on telecasting or in society. The cyberspace is besides a good manner a individual can run into their spouse. It is so much easier online because you can pick out a cat that suits your specific demands. It will minimise to an sum that is perfect for sing and you can even travel on day of the months! It truly gets you to cognize the cat without the expressions. but concentrating on the personality. The article states the theories that Hendrix explains are that of the biological. exchange and persona theories.

He states that he observed the relationships between others and came up with these 3 theories. Even though I disagree with these 3 theories. I know I believe in the theory that Hendrix came up with on his ain. which is the witting theory. He says that people should non concentrate on the expressions of the individual. but instead the personality that the individual possesses. I agree with Hendrix’s theory because your determination should non be based on the expressions but more of the personality because it could travel incorrect in the terminal. In decision. the witting theory is more of a better determination.

Cite this page

Theories of Love by Harville Hendrix. (2017, Sep 24). Retrieved from

Remember! This essay was written by a student

You can get a custom paper by one of our expert writers

Order custom paper Without paying upfront