When I was a senior in high school, something happened one day that I never forgot. In my U.S. History class, the teacher asked us to raise our hands if we considered ourselves feminist. My hand shot up without hesitation, but when I looked around, I immediately felt ostracized. Nobody else raised their hands, and I couldn’t understand why. Didn’t they feel that women should have every right that men have? Didn’t they believe women and men were equal and therefore changes in our culture were necessary? Didn’t they know that we as a society still had a long way to go? And then it became apparent to me in that moment that, perhaps, it wasn’t the ideology (at least I would hope not), but the word “feminist” that people were hesitant about.
Before I went to the feminism conference on the weekend of April 8-9, 2005, I felt strongly that I was a feminist, but had trouble educating other people about what it means to be a feminist. The word feminist has become almost a dirty word to so many people, who in my opinion, are ignorant to its meaning. For them the “f” word (as many feminists will joke) conjures up many stereotypical images of bra-burning, man hating, women I guess, and the significance of what feminism is about gets lost on them. The conference held most it’s significance for me by showing how feminism relates to the experiences of such a wide range of women, which just proves once again to me that it isn’t just about a certain type of woman, but about all of us.
The conference was kicked off by listening to the keynote speaker, Inga Muscio. When she spoke about Shirley Chisholm, the African-American women who was candidate for the Democratic Presidential Nomination, it honestly made me a bit sad to sit and think of how little things as changed, like a dream lost. It was a speech that was inspirational in that it made me feel like we all have a lot of work to do, and I was going to do my part.
The next morning, I found myself in front of a long table that displayed all kinds of vibrators, dildos, and lubes for a kind of “Sex Toy 101”. My friends and I agreed it was one of the better ways to start of a day. It was put on by a women who had opened a store called “It’s My Pleasure”, which is basically an sex toy shop that women can feel comfortable shopping in because it doesn’t carry sexist products like most adult shops that are run my men looking to make money. Besides it being really amusing and educational experience, it was empowering to be included in a group of women that didn’t feel like they needed to be ashamed or embarrassed about their sexuality.
The next part of the conference that I went to was called “Prostitution and Serial Killers” and was run by Leslie Bull, who had been a sex worker for years and was now speaking and writing about her experiences. Most of what we did was discuss and watch footage of Eileen Wuornos, who was executed for the murder of seven men. She said it was done in self-defense to either prevent rape or murder in each case, but they sentenced her to death anyway. She had horrible lawyers that didn’t know what they were doing, and she never was given fair appeals. Her story had been sold and bought many times over, making other people rich off of the things that she had to endure in her life.
I feel that she was vilified and exploited, and before the conference I really didn’t know much about her. I left that room feeling really somber and I think it had the most effect on me personally. Not only did I learn about Eileen Wuornos, but I also learned a lot from Leslie Bull about sex workers. They are hated in our culture and viewed as worthless. People don’t very bothered about abuse of sex workers, I think they feel like its deserved if they are going to put themselves in that position. Rape should never be justified, nobody deserves it, no matter what your view on sex workers.
“Native Oral Tradition” was run by an herbalist who was an expert on “alternative” medicine and healthy, organic eating. She explained how native women were responsible for keeping their culture and traditions alive by passing them on to new generations. The most powerful thing she said that really resonated with me was that feminism isn’t just about seeing the “male” attributes, like being dominant, powerful and uncompromising and trying to be that. It is also about respecting those female attributes like being caring, patient and understanding and wanting men to take those on as well. Men should be in touch with their feminine side as much and women should be in touch with their masculine. Its about being well rounded person with all the great attributes. I just think that is so right on, and I’m glad she brought it up.
The last part of the conference was probably my least favorite. It was called “Survivor to Thrivor”, run by Cammie Hering and Christina Cole. While the subject manner is very important, they way it was presented wasn’t the best. Most of it was a power point presentation about what it means to be resilient, with breaks for country music songs to express what they were talking about. Maybe I just don’t like country music, but I didn’t really feel that any of my questions were answered having to do with how to deal with sexual assault in my own life, and how to help friends that have been through it. But just because I didn’t get much from it all, maybe somebody else did. We all learn differently.
Overall the feminism conference was amazing. I had never gone to an all day “workshop” like that before, and I’m glad my experience turned out to be so positive. I have so much respect for all the women who ran the workshops, and it was really a great privilege to learn from all of them. They all had a distinct message to bring to the table and made me see feminism in multiple angles, deepening my understanding of what it means to be feminist.
