During the past seven weeks, I had the opportunity to reflect on my life’s impactful events. It was a unique experience that allowed me to comfortably explore my past. I could impartially revisit many buried and painful memories that I had previously ignored. Throughout this period, I felt liberated from the emotional turmoil of fear, failure, anger, regret, and loneliness that often clouded my outlook.
In contemplating various experiences, I discovered comfort by accepting both positive and negative occurrences as integral aspects of life. Regardless of their desirability or lack thereof, I acknowledged the importance of each event. It became evident that life is filled with unforeseen twists and turns, but our reaction to these situations drives us forward. This newfound understanding highlighted two main areas in my life: a significant transformative experience and my progress in terms of finances.
Leaving home was a difficult experience for me as I grew up in a strict, religious environment that restricted personal freedom and expression. The Indian Christian community constantly enforced conformity, which led to feelings of resentment and rebellion towards my parents. However, upon completing high school, I made the brave decision to leave without informing anyone and relocate to Houston where a friend had already settled. This turned out to be an incredibly positive decision as it opened doors to a life I never believed I could have and allowed me to develop as an individual.
Deceiving my parents is a major source of guilt in my life. It caused them to experience fears and uncertainty. Rather than communicating with them about my safety or discussing my unhappiness, I decided to vanish for three days. This act must have been challenging for them as I chose to avoid facing them and honestly expressing my discontent.
By manifesting my desires, I had a challenging experience that taught me about independence. I achieved important milestones like finding my own place to live, buying a new car, and fully committing to education and work. I took responsibility for managing my finances, emotions, and mental well-being. However, in my eagerness to move to Houston, I didn’t consider the impact it would have on my parents. This transformative journey has had both positive and negative effects on me; it empowered me to assert myself and pursue my goals while also showing me the importance of removing oneself from difficult situations to gain clarity of mind and realign goals.
Play to Win by Larry Wilson presents a simple and hopeful perspective on life, emphasizing emotional and spiritual growth to help us understand our true selves. According to Wilson (1998, p.89), “Life is a journey to be embraced, lived, explored, and devoted to.” This quote highlights our ability to have control over our own lives. We are all capable of choosing different paths, even if they are difficult, in order to reach a place of safety and security.
Looking back, my second life-learning lesson came from my financial growth. I was not surprised by this growth since I spent money extravagantly. My financial philosophy was that money is easily gained and easily lost. I knew that eventually, I would need to control my reckless spending habits, but it got worse with each purchase. There were days when I would waste money as if there was no tomorrow. I never thought about the future, not even about the next meal. It was the first time I lived without my parents, having complete freedom in a new state while experiencing college life, and money was the least of my concerns.
“A foolish man and his money are soon parted.” (Stanley, 2000, p.108) I lost everything within three years – credit card companies called, phone line disconnected, eviction, car repossession. Prioritizing fun over well-being led me to this point. Alone in a new state with no parental support, filing for bankruptcy was my only option at twenty-two.
Upon reflection, that was one of the scariest experiences of my life. Those were testing times, hardship had conquered my life. I had no money; living paycheck to paycheck became the norm. Since I had no money, my friends and public transportation became my only source of getting to school. Paying for school, getting any kind of credit, or even writing a check became difficult. Many times I wanted to return back to my parents. I learned how to be strong through financially tough times and how to never lose track of my expenditures.
Recognizing our true identity can be a daunting task. Every individual possesses an ego, which leads them to believe they are faultless while others are mistaken. Criticism often triggers defensiveness and makes it arduous to welcome change. It requires diligence, an open mindset, and a willingness to receive feedback, whether positive or negative, in order to accept varying viewpoints. For those who are ready to embrace the challenge, personal development becomes an ongoing expedition.
