Christopher Lathrop: Autobiography

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My name is Christopher Ray Lathrop. And this is my Auto biography. Iwas born at Saint Peters Hospital right here in Olympia WA. Where my other twobrothers Jarred 15, and Ryley 20 months, were born as well. I traveled to Michigan with my family, when I was around seven or six.

Where my Aunt lives with her six kids and a small Korean family. I remember mymother gave my brother and I ,what she refereed too as a Care Package, Rightbefore the trip. It was filled with weapons, nipple clamps, blow up dolls,bulling pins and other inatimate objects. What a trip; four days on the roadwith my brother and parents. Stopping at places like the worlds largest ball Ofstring. We ended up going to the air port where my mom sent me too India.

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Where I lived with a Monk monastery. While I was there, I was beaten repeatedlywith tree limbs. The only toys I had to play with were the contents of the carepackage. I also received for some monk holiday a pet snow monkey. But brotherHaanz stole him from me; for his own entertainment.(If you know what I mean?)Anyway; a few years later when I became a shambala monk. (many degreesabove a standard monk.) I ran away to America and joined circus Vargus as thehead clown. When the Circus came too my hometown of Olympia My mother witnessedmy performance, and decided too let me move back home.

Living at home was worsethan I had hoped. I decided to venture, as I called it; on a long and hopefullysuccessful quest to find an answer to one of mans most pondered questions. “Ifa cow laughs, does milk come out of his nose?” So I took what was left of thecare package, most of it though, was broken during my stay in the Turkish prison. That’s a whole different story though. Well anyway; I took what was left ofthe care package, and left.

Then at the age of fourteen I moved to Cat-mon-du-Abudabi-allowishis-debris 90210. and out of pure coincidence, became a porno star. Then I builtmy own nudist colony. Which unfortunately became impregnated by four Dutchscientists with a golden retriever. So I was forced by sixteen Jewishscientists with a Great Dane to have an abortion. They claimed it to be immoralor something along those lines. My memory is a bit hazy, when It comes to thosetimes.

After the abortion I moved to New York, and began raising venomoushamsters. I was bitten 420,007,211,187 times in the buttox. Which didn’t helpthe large cell growth in that area; being that it had already produced a rashthere anyways. So I joined the marines and fought in the Veit Nam war 42regiment. I was a mechanical engineer and after years of study I developed ahigh intensity materializing lazer death ray beam gun. they did not put theweapon into use though. There was a glitch in it. You see, it took fourteenpounds of crack, in order for it to produce enough energy for the flux capacitor.

without it the lazer was unable too reach eighty eight miles per hour. Soafter the war I was shipped back home where I was forced to go to detoxificationclasses. After I was discharged from rehab I went and inrolled for a classcalled secondary options. After I was signed up and officially in the class Istarted my plans to take over the entire world!

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