Different Family Values Between China and America

?[Abstract] The family education is related to a person”s life. Nowadays, social development needs high qualified talents and good family education is the key point to the high qualified talents. Because of the different social systems, culture backgrounds, education aims and so on, family education for the children is different in many aspects between China and America. In the education projects of training new century talents in the world, all the countries put family education in a very important position.

Although family education now attracts social circles’ attention, especially educational circles’ attention, Chinese family education still had a lot of problems. This paper first introduces the definition of family education. Second, this paper points out the main problems in today’s Chinese family education. Third, by comparing, this paper points out the different family education between China and America (mainly on aspects of family education’s contents, aims and methods). Family education aims for training the children into what kind of person that the education contents and methods choose according to the aims.

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After comparison, the paper interprets the reasons of these differences. Finally, the paper puts forward some methods that suit Chinese family education. [Key Words] family education; comparison; American; Chinese 1. Introduction Entering twenty-first century, as one of the hottest spot, family education is becoming more and more important in people’s life. Family, as the cell of society, is the first place that children receive education and the first unit that the children get in touch with the society.

Education is a highly complicated process which is connected with families, schools and society throughout one’s whole life. A modern society, whether it can present its special education function, which is already the base of the power to push the society and creation of family happiness. In modern society, family education contents become various, it includes not only family life education, family relation education, family morality education, but also children education, parents education and so on.

In this paper, I will discuss the education of the children. 2. The definition of family education “ Harry Chester’s Schools for Children and Institutes for Adults (1860) says, ‘Education is the development and training of the human being in all his capacities, spiritual, intellectual and physical…’”[1]P148 In the dictionary, the definition of family education explained in this way: Parents or elder generation educate the child or teenage in family. Different society needs different family education.

“Zheng Qilong, in his work family education, explained it in another way: Education is a society use to educate new generation with aims and systems…”[2]P6-7 Family education is parents educate their children, it is an important part of the whole education system. For the sake of the changing situation, the definition of family education should be extended: “(i) Family education is not only the action of family but concerns the whole society. (ii) Family education’s aims are not only studying the family relation and living skills, but also the physiology and psychology of every family member and family members all-round development.

(iii) Family education is not only the way that parents or elder generation educate the child or teenage in family, but all the family members educate each other. (iv) Family education is not only the education of the pre-school education, but also all life education. ”[3]P52 3. Main problems in today’s Chinese family education 3. 1 Parents’ mistake in conception of value and wrong activities leading A child’s conception of morality and value orientation learns from acquistion, especially from his parents. So parents affect the child’s mind greatly.

“(i) If parents always say some positive view, such as, ‘Money makes the mare go’ or ‘Money talks. ’”[4]P23 The child may form a conception that people live in order to make money which is a wrong view of value. (ii) Parents sometimes endorse some wrong behaviors, the child may form an idea that those wrong behaviors are right. 3. 2 Utopian expectation of children’s education Chinese parents produce a great impact on children’s future. When a baby born in a Chinese family, his parents often design a future for him, no matter the child likes it or not.

That is to say, Chinese parents would enforce their children living under the designed future instead of considering children’s feelings and abilities. “Just as Phierbaha says ‘Parents’ biggest false is they stand in their position and interfere children’s nature development. ’”[5]P24 In China, we can find the following scenes easily: Parents take their children to various kinds of lessons after school. Children would be punished if they didn’t get a good mark in examinations. 3. 3 Harmful types of family education 3. 3. 1 A utocratic type of family education

In some Chinese families, parents require their children should do whatever they want their children do. If the children didn’t do as their order, they will scold the children, even worse, they will punish the children. “A questionnaire of 300 students in a middle school shows: Ninety percent of the students had been punished! ” [6]P24. They can’t bear that children did’t obey them. They restrict their children. They check their children’s cellphone. 3. 3. 2 Indulgent type of family education Parents’ love is very important for the psychology development of teenagers.

However, in modern China, a child is probably the only child in a family, and parents give too much love to the child. It leads to a situation that the child can’t live without their parents. They seldom run into troubles because their parents had already solved the problem for them before they meet the problem. This kind of children can’t get along with other people very well. They consider themselves as the most important ones. Even worse, they may not have enough independent ability to live in the society without their parents’ help. When they go to society, they will feel depressed.

“In a investigation of 4000 youth criminals, 16. 3% of them receive this kind of family education. ” [7]P24 3. 3. 3 Careless type of family education It usually refers to parents who lack of responsibility to take care of their children. Young parents are working hard to make money. They don’t have enough time to get along with their children. According to a survey, the children whose parents are individual entrepreneur, taxi driver or labor contractor, break the law easily. The main reason is the parents mentioned above, who have few time at home. Even they are at home, they seldom put their hearts on their children.

They simply think if they provides a good living condition for their children, who will become a talent. This type of family education is dangerous. Children’s thought is not mature enough to judge all the things in a right way. It is easy for children to choose the wrong way to go. 3. 3. 4 Changeable type of family education The children had been influenced greatly by this type of family education. For parents, the way to present this kind of education is self-contradictory. In other words, one parent is severe, another indulgent. Or the same behavior, is allowed today, but is forbidden tomorrow.

A great number of research proved that children’s behaviors have a close connection with the changeable type of family education when they are young. 3. 4 Bringing up by elder generation show more disadvantages Bringing up by elder generation means more chance to spoil the children. The popular situation is that children raised by grand-parents. In this way, there are more disadvantages than advantages. Grand-parents used the traditional view to teach their grand-sons or grand-daughters. The result of this will destroy the children. 4. Main problems in today’s American family education 4.

1 Indulgent type of family education Different from Chinese family education, Ameirican indulgent type of family education had more harmful effection. Because over indulgent, it made a lot of social problems. Such as, teenage crime. In radio or TV, we sometimes can get a information that a 15-year-old boy shot his friend in the middle school. 4. 2 lack of communication American think that every member in a family, he or she should had his or her own space. In their opinions, they can”t interfere each other even they are in a family. And when a person is 18 years old, he may leave his parents.

It means his has little time to stay with their parents. So they has less resbosibility to their parents. But, in Chinese people’eyes, it’s no a good idea to leave their parents. It may lose the chances to communicate with each other. 4. 3 pay too much attention on happy learning American take happy learning serious. But, in fact, happy learning is good when children are young. Only pay attention to happy, parents may find that children’s learning levels are declined. For example, some students who get used to happy learning, can’t calculate without calculator. 5.

The comparison of the family education’s process between China and America From the results of the family education, we can find, in the process of family education, although it is not a kind of systematic education, it still has its educational aims, contents and methods, like the schools, which play an important role in the educational system. The aims of education are the most important ones which determine family education’s contents and methods. 5. 1 The comparison of the contents of family education The aim of education determines the content of education. “The contents of American family education are very plentiful.

American parents pay attention to their children’s all-round study. ”[8] We called “qualified education”,which includes physical strength, cognition, social ability, emotion and so on. To enhance children’s physical strength, children do outdoor exercises, such as, playing on a swing, hiking. On the development of cognition, parents train children’s sense organs, enlarging their culture view and hobby. For example, when parents go to library for study or borrow some books, they always take their children with them. In this way, they can stimulate children’s interest.

On the development of social ability, children are required to enjoy themselves and share things with their friends. On the development of emotion, with the help of the parents, children learn to enjoy music, art or dancing etc. Although the contents of Chinese family education are divided into morality, intelligence, physical, art etc. However, when the child at school age, intelligence is the most important. The contents of education become imbalance. In physical, Chinese parents pay more attention to children’s nutrition, they make great effects to prevent their children from diseases.

Compared with American parents, this kind of education is a protection which is defensible, static and passive. Greenhouse-training can train a person strong; On intelligence, children are given knowledge, skills, such as, the books that are full of knowledge and interesting things, at the same time, they learn the skills of reading, writing and counting. When the children begin their school education, family education are inclined to the tendency of school education: parents supervise children’s study, check their homework, buy extracurricular exercises for the children.

On art education, more and more parents realize the important professional skills. So they request children to learn drawing, dancing without children’s willingness. It is a blind action, it may kill children’s talent, even worse, they may pay a good deal of money and a lot of time but without good results. And doing this willgive too much pressure to children. By comparison, American family education’s contents are substantial and scientific. On the contrary, Chinese family education’s contents are narrow, limited and not scientific.

For example, in Chinese family education, physical is less important than intelligence. Chinese parents pay more attention on children’s health from which is the low-level content. Children ignore physical training, lack of outdoor exercises, stay at home to watch television. Then the number of getting adiposity become larger. Intelligence includes practical ability and latent capacity. Practical ability is what you know, what skills and knowledge you should master. Chinese family education always ignore skills, such as, living skill, working skill, communicative skill etc.

American people take these skills seriously instead of ignoring them. In their opinion, these skills are the basic quality to stand on the social stage. Chinese family education ignore not only some practical abilities, but also latent capacities which are divided into study ability and creativity. Chinese parents seem to think highly of knowledge study, in fact, they only pay attention to the low-level knowledge which just can deal with school examinations. In a questionnaire called “how to train teenagers’ creative ability.

” There is a question , “If you find your children trying to take a clock apart, what will you do? ” 40% of parents will scold the children. 48% of parents will use a way without patience. From this questionnaire, we can find out Chinese parents’ ideas of training creation should be improved. By comparison, American parents pay attention to children’s multi-hobby and creation-consciousness training. Most American experts adviced that not to learn knowledge without comprehension study. When children come back home from school, Chinese parents always ask a question “Do you remember what the teacher teach?

” or “Do you get a good mark on today’s test? ” Yet, American parents will ask “Do you ask teacher some questions? ” or “Is the lesson interesting today? ” This present the different opinions on intelligence between Chinese parents and American parents. 5. 2 The comparison of the aims of family education Family education’s aims determine it’s direction. So the aims of family education are the core, which is the basic reason of the different family education between Chinese and American. Family education’s aim is to train a child with some characteristics through family education.

Once the aim is determined, education contents and methods should be chosen according to the aims. So what’s the different aims of Chinese family education and American family education, or we can say the different expectations of the parents in the two countries. American family education’s aims are to train the child into a social man, who can deal with all kinds of events and own independent ability. It is not a high expectation. “Social man” is not an utopia idea, but a requirement which is practical and easy to achieve. So American parents have a relaxed attitude to educate their children.

They are good at finding out the active parts from their children’s individuality. And the children can find their value from family education. In fact, this kind of education can achieve good results. According to this aim, they can train their children’s independent ability. Let’s see American children in different periods. When they are still a baby, they sleep alone; When they can walk by themselves, they seldom ask parents for help; When they grow up, they own their rooms and they should clean the rooms by themselves; They do what they can do from childhood to make money.

For example, they do house cleaning, be a baby sitter, send newspapers; When they go to senior middle school or university, they do part-time jobs to make money for the cost of living. By comparison, Chinese family education’s aim is to train the child into a talent, who has a bright future. A bright future means to get a good job and to lead a simple life all their life time. First, this aim is high and full of utility. It is hard to achieve, because “having a bright future” is not an ordinary aim. Because of the aim, Chinese parents especially concern about children’s study achievements.

Their only requirement is that their children can concentrate all the attentions on study. At the same time, they ignore their children’s extraordinary abilities, damage their imaginations. At the end, parents would kill the talents before the children become qualified persons. Although Chinese children study very hard, and get good achievements. They lack of abilities to suit this society. Sometimes, parents’ expectation would come to nothing. 5. 3 The comparison of the methods of family education The methods of family education are the concrete measure of education contents.

The choices of which education methods are connected closely to a nation’s custom, culture and history. At the same time, it is restricted by education aims. Conversely, whether the parents can use the scientific education methods properly is connected to the realization of family education’s aims and contents. Generally speaking, in American families, “parents mainly use an equal way to educate their children. They respect children’s personality and rights. Children, in the family, are treated as independent individuals. Parents and children are equal. ”[8]P47 By comparison, Chinese family education’s methods lack of equality.

Chinese parents don’t treat their children on the same level as themslves. Instead, parents stand for the elder generation and the children stand for younger generation. American parents advocate the open education: First, they pay attention to practical training, emphasis on training children in practice instead of preaching. In American’s opinion, if the children can do the work, let them do it. Through the process of doing the work, they can improve their recognition of things, accumulate experiences, master skills, enhance capacities, develop hobbies and consolidate self-confidence and responsibility.

We can say, American parents give the key of the door to children instead of opening the door for the children. Second, American parents think play and game are very important. They think play is the most important thing when children are young. In American, children take part in all kinds of activities, do a lot of outdoor exercises. There are a lot of good places for them to do exercises. On the weekend, parents go out for tour with children. In the process of playing, the children develop their intelligence, such as imagination, judgement, communication with other people and emotion adjusting and so on..

Chinese parents advocate the close education: First, they ignore the importance of practical training, instead they pay attention to preaching. The requirement to children is study. All the things, including what the children can do by themselves, are done by their parents. It is the reason why Chinese children learn a lot of knowledge but can hardly do anything when they enter the society. Second, they lack of outdoor exercises because Chinese children have endless homework. They live under the pressure of a lot of examinations. At the same time, they can’t find a good place to do outdoor exercises.

Because of different education types, American family education and Chinese family education show different methods. So, we can try to turn our close education into open education. American family education methods present in four aspects: First, children have their right to speak, in other words, they can show their opinions on family affairs. American parents inspire their children to say what they want to say . Second, American children have right to choose, when the children start to show their ability to cognize things, they would like the children to choose by themselves.

The children can choose games, books, friends, jobs and so on. American parents wouldn’t put their opinions on their children. Most of the time, their role is to lead the children to choose, or they only stand behind the children, to give them confidence. Third, American parents can make friends with their children, they can communicate on the base of equality. Fourth, American parents respect children’s rights of privacy. Chinese family education methods also present in four aspects: First, children have less right to speak, that is to say, Chinese parents require their children to obey the rules, and have few different ideas.

As the American president Nixon said “The task of Chinese education system is to train children into a person who is docile, completely listen to elder generation. In this way, they lose Chinese Darwin and Einstein. ” Second, Chinese children have limited right to choose and most of them would like to do things according to parents’ willingness. Third, Chinese parents always appear with a image of authority so their status are higher than their children at home. Fourth, Chinese parents always destroy children’s rights of privacy.

For example , their school bags are searched; diaries are peeked. We can find that differet family education methods present in different aspects. American pay attention to the right children own, but Chinese never think so. The democratic method of education which is a kind of loose and comfortable education, and presents a great deal of advantages: For one thing, it helps to train creative ideas. Loose and comfortable conditions are the most important to stimulate children’s creativities. Under high pressure, children’s creative ideas would be constrained.

On the contrary, in a happy and calm family atmosphere, children can be stimulated easily. To produce a loose and comfortable atmosphere, parents should build a relationship equalled with children. For another, it helps to form healthy personality. Children would take part in family affairs actively, to express their own opinions, stop being afraid, and be full of self-confidence and responsibility if they are given the rights of speaking, attending and choosing. In addition, this kind of relation can inspire children to share their secrets to their parents.

At the same time, parents can understand children’s thoughts. It urges children to form a good personality. However, autocratic method of education presents a kind of restrained education, which constrains creation and the development of personality. 6. The comparison of the family education”s results between China and America Different results of education are due to different contents, aims and methods, which can be discovered after comparison . Generally speaking, American children show distinguishing features when they are very young.

For example, they show great enthusiasm, keep calm when they run into troubles, get on well with other people, have great power and are full of new ideas, strong independent ability and social ability. Because they are independent from parents when they are 18, they are full of more confidence and courage. Further more, they should do part-time jobs to meet their needs of money. Having the idea of suiting market economy, they take part in money management, at the same time, they learn how to promote sales and communicate with customers. They realize money is not easily earned by all these kinds of practice.

Thus, they get into a habit of thrift. In a word, the outstanding characteristics of American children are their great abilities and the adaption to the society smoothly. However, Chinese children, teenagers, even university students, who do well in their studies, show negative tendency in their characteristics. In more details, they behave in a passive way, such as timid, having deep-rooted dependent mentality, lacking of the ability to communicate with other people. Even worse, with poor independent viability, they can’t deal with money in a proper way.

In short, they are lack of the ability to adapt to the society. All of these characteristics, which can be found from Chinese children, are due to Chinese “diploma-education”. Chinese parents expect their children to study hard in the school instead of taking part in the changeable society. Nowadays, what kind of the education results fits the society? Social development needs man’s activity, creativity and humanity’s liberation. As the civilization develops, more and more people need to focus on the development of humanity and the ability to do all kinds of things.

So we can say today’s society needs active and all-round talents. Obviously, American family education can train a child, who is full of creativity and capability, by comparison, Chinese family education only can produce a “talent”, who is good at studying and obeying the rules. It is the result of “examination-center-education”, which can do harm to our teenagers’ body and mind. So Chinese family education needs a reform immediately. 7. The causes of family education’s differences between China and America In modern society, parents take education seriously in Amreican the same as those in China.

Why these two kinds of family education have so many differences? To sum up, the causes of different education are: 7. 1 The different history backgrounds American, which is an emigrant country with a short history, has less old culture. Affected by multi-culture and multi-value, it can accept new thoughts and culture more quickly without restriction. So compared with Chinese people, they possess more adventure and creation sprits. However, China had a long history, at the same time, it reserves more old culture, especially is affected by feudal farmer’s idea for a long period.

Its culture value is conservative and cautious, which lacks of adventure spirits and creation consciousness. Chinese people are educated to be obedient, comparative and lack of an environment to accept new ideas on the whole. 7. 2 The different economic patterns American productive force is advanced. Its commodity economy is flourishing. There are a lot of opportunity to get jobs. The pressure of living are limited. Moreover, The United States is a society of capabilities, where the system of is perfect, staff are free. And they have a lot of opportunities of changing a job.

It means there are various of jobs for Americans to choose. In American parents’ opinions if children can base themselves on the society, no matter the job is highly valued or not. Besides, commodity economy is changing in every minute, jobs are changing too. So parents never think their children can live a smooth life. Consequently, American family education’s aim is to focus on training children into “human” It seems more macroscopic and wide-ranged. It meets all changes by remaining unchanged. By contrast, “China is a developing country. The pressure of living is great.

China is a society of diplomas. Jobs are stable, so Chinese always put all their happiness on a job. Their choosing are limited. Chinese parents think good study achievement can bring a good job for their children. It is a smooth way of life, and it is also the best way for a person. ”[9]P2 Therefore, Chinese family education’s aim is to focus on training children into “talents”. 7. 3 The different social conditions American have good economic conditions, perfect old-age social system. American parents don’t have the idea that rearing children against old age.

Instead, they think when they become old, they can go to old people’s home to live the rest of their life. So they rear the children to 18 years old, who become independent persons, and they finish their jobs without considering what the children will be in the future. They don’t care about whether the children will bring honor to them or not. By comparison, China, a nation which economic condition is poor, has incomplete social old-age system, and exists some old conception questions. Chinese parents consider that children’s education is connected with the rest of their life.

They treat the children as their own property, require children to pay back for them. And the thing that presents it in their ways is education. Many Chinese parents treat the thing of beating children as a personal affair. They think no one can interfere,let alone the law. 7. 4 The different traditional cultures 7. 4. 1 Different value orientations Americans pay attention to personality, their value orientation is based on the individualism. They lay stress on their own benefits, advocate individual improvement and find their own true value. It is the core of American culture.

An American scholar pointed out: In a democratic society, every citizen has his own goal, which is himself. In the family, individual is the most basic one, which is the valuable, independent from his family relation and doesn’t depend on others. So in American family, parents used to treat themselves and their children as two separate individual. “Self” doesn’t only include parents themselves but the children selves. To carry out children’s self-value, parents should respect children’s willingness, interest and hobby first. But American parents attach importance to enjoying their life.

They wouldn’t give up to go to cinema because of the children. Chinese pay attention to general character. They have a conception, which is the most important. The conception is collective spirit. In other words, it means considering things as a whole. It emphasizes collective interest more important than individual interest. Chinese consider that a person is living in contrast with other people. From ancient time to the present, “self”, this conception results from contrast with other people, that is, individual value only can live with others’ relations in Chinese society.

In Chinese family, parents lose themselves at the same time, they don’t respect their children. “The way that Chinese parents lose themselves presents as following: they consider children as their own, as a continuation of themselves; their children seems to be their whole lives and hopes; they put all their hopes on their children. This kind of parents would use their determination to replace their children’s. ”[10] P62 They think from adult’s view. So we can find Chinese parents always set an impractical goal for their children. American pay attention to personality while Chinese pay attention to general character.

It has its economic background. In the structure of modern capitalism, American’s commodity economy defeated nature economy. And it exists for more than a hundred years. In the condition of commodity economy, individual is independent relatively. One person, if he wants to develop in the competition of commodity economy, he must improve himself. Therefore, in the commodity economy society, people keep a tradition which is to value self the most important. By comparison, Chinese’s nature economy existed for thousands of years. Chinese are get used to tying on the land.

Individuals lack of the condition of developing by themselves. Through dozens of years planned economy, even more than twenty years of market economy, Chinese can’t get rid of the dependency. Individual’s development often need other people’s help. Even evaluating an individual is carried out by comparing with other persons. So Chinese like taking part in community, in order not to be isolated. ? Americans encourage rationalism. Their family education praise rationalism highly, which they treat as a basic principle to deal with family members and family affairs.

Most of American parents consider the obligation of raising a child the same as the obligation to the society. It does stand not only in an individual position but the social position. In Americans’ opinions family education is considered as an obligation, so Americans never want to get something back from their children. They consider that they ought to go to the old people’s home. Of course, it is based on American perfect social security system and their culture. ? Chinese encourage affection which is considered to be the most important thing in Chinese society.

Chinese family education, human relation is the base and emotion is the rule to deal with the relation of family. Chinese parents consider the children as their own private property, from the angle of their honor. Chinese parents take the greatest care of their children but with a conception of getting back something from their children. From this point of view, we can understand why more Chinese parents expect their children to be talented than American parents does. They put too much material gain in the aim of family education. 8 Suggestions This paper is comparing the vague generalization of family education between China and America.

Chinese family education and American family education have their own characteristics. Furthermore, American family education has its disadvantage either. Apparently, the paper doesn’t aim at denying American family education or Chinese family education. Through the comparison, this paper puts forward some suggestions that suit for Chinese family education. 8. 1 For education aims: turn “talent” education into “human” education. Through the comparison, we can find, American family education’s aim more fits the development of society. At the same time, it can produce more creative persons.

We can’t deny, in Chinese examination education, we kill a lot of talents . If we want to change the situation, we need family education’s help. Generally speaking ,as the enhance of social productive force, the society competition becomes more and more fierce. A person’s comprehensive quality becomes more and more important. In fact, this comprehensive quality is the basic human education. Using human education as our family education’s aim, Chinese will get rid of the mistaken ideas of family education. 8. 2 For education contents: “turn ‘one-sided’ family education into ‘all-round’ family education.

Today’s aim of family education is to teach intelligent knowledge. Because of the wrong aim, the intelligent education is the most important. This kind of education, will make children’s quality development unbalanced so that they can’t fit for this changeable society. After setting up “human” education as our family education’s aim, parents should improve children’s comprehensive quality. If we want to improve children’s comprehensive quality, we should turn one-sided family education into all-round family education, especially education of latent energy, morality and temper. 8.

3 For education methods: turn “restrained” education into “loose and comfortable” education, turn “closed” education into “open” education. Affected by Chinese culture, parents have more power than democracy. This kind of education is harmful for teenagers’ mature. Modern society should advocate loose and comfortable education and open education. 8. 4 To set up a conception of qualified education Nowadays, education reform’s core is to improve education’s quality. “The main aim of education is to teach children to learn from how to live to care other people then responsible for others.

” [11]P3 Concerning to family education, parents should set up a conception of qualified education. Qualified education is based on human’s physiology and psychology, which has nature peculiarity. It is a kind of education that can train teenagers all-round development. Furthermore, its goal is to fit the needs of the society’s development. Through qualified education, parents teach the youth playing, working and communicating which are the abilities a person should own in modern society. Quality education aims to improve every aspect of quality a talent needs.

It is not only a conception of qualified education but also a conception of value. Only when the parents set up the conception and use it as family education’s guide, can the children get used to this society quickly and smoothly. 8. 5 To turn sole education into multiple education In Chinese, many parents aim the goal of education on intellective education. So they ignore non-intellective education which concerns children’s physiology health. Scientific family education should give first place to intellective education and in addition, take care of children’s physiology, psychology, knowledge.

Besides, parents not only teach the children knowledge of culture, which is necessary in a person’s life, but teach other kinds of knowledge. Although to increasing knowledge of culture does good to intellective development, it is not sure it helps a lot. 8. 6 To turn knowledge education into capability education In today’s society, development of modern science has put training ability in a higher position than teaching knowledge. Family education demands the parents not only to give children food but the skills to get food.

Chinese should change the method which focuses on the knowledge, turn knowledge education into capability education. Ability is the intelligence that people finish a task or achieve their goals It is the result of psychology condition and physiology condition. It includes intelligence skill system, motivation structure system and operating skill system. These three systems connect with each other and inspire one by one. A person’s development level depends on the whole ability system which is formed by them. 8. 7 To use scientific mode of family education to speed the refrom of family education 8.

7. 1 Creative type of education “ This kind of education pays close attention to the development of children’s latent energy, which fixes eyes upon the use and training of intelligence. It advocates on creative study through active research and self improvement. “The basic education mode is: cognition-research-creation-application, which is people’s ability of acquiring and using knowledge, and the wisdom that people show. ”[12]P4 It includes observing ability, memorial ability, thinking ability, practical ability and so on. These abilities connect with each other and restrict each other.

They are always considered as a whole. So intelligent education depends on all of the abilities mentioned above. 8. 7. 2 Successful type of education It aims at creating the condition of success. It requires children to grasp the opportunities of success. It also requires children to hold the opportunities of success. In this way, children can improve self-confidence. Using this kind of education mode, children can develop themselves step by step on the way of success. “The basic education mode is aims-success-new aims. ”[13]P4 8. 7. 3 Happy type of education

It advocates parents to create a perfect education condition, which develop multi-ways and multi-form of education activity. “The basic education mode is action-master-application on action. ”[14]P4 8. 7. 4 Qualify and special type of education It emphasizes on the basic requirement of the whole. In other words, it means to make sure the basic things in education. Besides, if the children have already learnt the basic knowledge, parents can make full use of the advantages of their children, encourage their children to develop in more aspects. “The basic education mode is base-multi-action-more aspects development.

”[15]P5 9. Conclusion American famous writer John Brasal said in his best seller Family May Hurt You When a person grow up, all his behaviors are determined by the family environment when he was a child. Every child grows up under his parents’ family education, what kind a person will be, depends on what kind of family education he received. Children’s character and destiny are connected closely to family education. For the family, for the children, for the parents, we should change the wrong conception of family education and correct it at once. We, Chinese, should change utopian expectation of

children’s education. Give up the harmful types of family education. Pick up good idea from American’ family education. To turn “talent” education into “human” education.. To turn “one-sided” family education into “all-round” family education. To turn “restrained” education into “loose and comfortable” education. To use scientific mode of family education to speed the refrom of family education. If we can follow these changing, Chinese family education will go to a bright future. Ameircan also can get something they lack of from our family education.

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