English has been a constant struggle for me throughout my life. From childhood until now, I have consistently faced the challenge of failing in this subject. Despite my persistent efforts to improve, I continue to struggle with it. Although English itself is not difficult for me, my sorrow stems from poor spelling and tense misuse. One vivid memory that stands out is of my English teacher who also struggled with pronunciation.
The person said SUP instead of CUP, Knooowwledge instead of Knowledge, and MACHEENE instead of machine. These experiences greatly improved my English skills. I still remember feeling embarrassed while filling out my Metric admission form, especially when it came to describing my gender in one line. At the start of the form, I had to write my name using CAPITAL letters, but due to my limited English proficiency, I had to seek assistance in Islamabad.
Before, I had difficulty grasping single narrative plays, but now I can understand complete stories while watching English movies. Thanks to my intelligence level, films such as Terminator, Titanic, and Transporter are enjoyable for me – they are my all-time favorites. It is important to mention that previously I could comprehend Persian, Arabic, and Pashto but not English. However, there has been a notable change since then and now I can confidently state that either I have learned English or everyone else has forgotten it. Regardless of the reason behind this transformation, it brings me great happiness.
Now all the spells are being changed, all English words now consist of only 2 or 3 letters. For example, instead of writing “coming”, we only need to write “CMG”. Girl friend is now abbreviated as GF, and face book as FB. Long English words can now be shortened. After much hard work, I memorized the spelling of UNFORTUNATELY, but now only UNFORT is necessary. This means that the difficult spells start and end at certain points.
This matter is not resolved here either, often strange situations arise that make my life a kind of hell. Yesterday, I received a text message from my friend. It read “U R INVT IN MY BK CRMY.” I was puzzled by what he wrote; I couldn’t understand a single word. Part of me thought he was insulting me. I turned to another friend who is fluent in that type of English. Instantly, he translated the SMS as “YOU ARE INVITED IN MY BOOKS CERMONY.”
In order to cope with English, my friend Mr Shahid found an amazing solution. It’s quite simple – if you don’t know complete English, no problem, just use Urdu to complete your sentences with full satisfaction. For instance, when he received an SMS while having food, he would reply like this: “PLEASE, IS TIME NOT DISTURB, IM KHAYING MY FOOD.” One day, he liked a girl on Facebook and sent her a message saying, “I WANT TO SHADI WITH YOU, ARE YOU RAZI?” The girl replied, “YES, IM RAZI BUT TRY TO RAZI MY AMMA ABBA.” Nowadays, they are happily married and still have conversations in English with a mix of Punjabi.
English goes beyond restrictions – if someone writes proper English, others start doubting their mental ability. It is suggested not only to break the legs of English but also its teeth. English forces us to cry tears of blood throughout our lives. Recently, it has been reported that correct grammar and tenses are not needed. For example, instead of writing “I’m waiting for you, when will you come?”, we can simply write “m wtg u cm whn” using modern grammar techniques.
As time passes, the world is becoming smaller. Desktop computers are being replaced by laptops, ugly TV sets are being transformed into smart LCDs, split AC units are being substituted with window ACs, and the entire internet can now be stored on a small USB. Considering these advancements, there is a great need to adapt the English language to these modern techniques. Just as we have a solution for Urdu in the form of Roman Urdu, now individuals who write incorrect English will be considered knowledgeable scholars.
If you receive a message from a friend with “DAT” instead of “THAT”, do not be surprised. Understand that your friend is knowledgeable and socially aware, familiar with modern English techniques. I initially thought that the blending of English was only prevalent in Pakistan, but I was mistaken. My cousin, who resides in Saudi Arabia, shared with me a rather distressing revelation – this blend of English is also being practiced in Saudi Arabia.
When people in Saudi Arabia struggle to speak English, they often blend it with Arabic. For instance, instead of saying “IM AT HOME,” they would say “HAZA MY HOME.” While English has become easier, it is unfortunate that this simplified version is only acceptable in everyday life. To truly excel in English, we must understand its charm. Long ago, it was recognized that English is essential for communication and connecting with others. It remains the only solution.
English possesses numerous advantages, yet it also exhibits some drawbacks and deficiencies. One of its flaws is the inability to effectively convey emotions; English lacks the capacity to adequately express feelings. It is a straightforward language that often falls short in capturing the depth of human emotions. Despite achieving a certain level of proficiency in English, I still have reservations when it comes to speaking. I cannot pinpoint the reason for these hesitations, but I fear that if I start speaking English, I will become indistinguishable from a robot.
