Guyz today I am going to share my sob story, ever since from my childhood I had a habit of getting failed in English, though I took some extra care of this habit and kept failing my English subject. Even though I never considered English as a tough subject and language, just spelling and tenses are my cause of misery. I still remember my teacher who used to teach me English, he also had some serious problems in his English in terms of pronunciation.
He pronounced CUP as SUP, Knowledge as Knooowwledge and machine as MACHEENE. After studying all these kind of things my English got sharper, I still remember when I had to fill my admission form of Metric in Colum of sex I started feel like shame and went into thinking how could I describe my sex fantasy in one line? At the start of the form, I had to write my own name, due to unawareness of English I had to travel to Islamabad, because it was written that write your name in CAPITAL.
While watching English movies I got understand all story but could not able to understand a single story play, Terminator, Titanic, Transporter and some others all time favorite movies I got understand and enjoyed just because of sheerness of my intelligence. Few years ago it was cleared to me that I can understand Persian, Arabic, Pashto but not English, but things turned around drastically and now I can confidently say either I learned English or all other people got forget English, whatever the reason I am so happy.
Now all the spells is being changed, all English words just consists of 2 or 3 alphabets, if we want to write “coming” so all we need to write is only CMG, GF girl friend, FB face book. Now the long English words can be cut down to short words. After doing too much hard work I memorize the spelling of UNFORTUNATLY but now UNFORT is enough, it means from where the tough spells start at the very time it comes to an end.
This matter is not abolished here either, oftentimes some weird kind of situation poops up that create my life a kind of hell. Yesterday I’d received a SMS from my friend, it was written “U R INVT IN MY BK CRMY” I wondered what the hell he wrote, I did not get even a single word of it, part of me was thinking that he abused me. I went to another friend who has mastered in that kind of English, without another thought he’d translated that SMS “YOU ARE INVITED IN MY BOOKS CERMONY”.
In order to deal with English one of my friend Mr Shahid got a amazing way out, its so simple the logic is that if you don’t know full English no problem put Urdu to complete your sentence with full satisfaction, when he received SMS while having food he would repli like this “PLEASE IS TIME NOT DISTRUB,IM KHAYING MY FOOD. One day he liked a girl on F. B, he wrote a message to that girl “I WANT TO SHADI WITH YOU, ARE YOU RAZI, the girl replied YES IM RAZI BUT TRY TO RAZI MY AMMA ABBA, now a days they are happily married and still having conversation in English with mix of Punjabi.
English is not restricted to this extent it goes beyond, if someone writes proper English other people start doubting on his mental ability, I would suggest not to break only the legs of English we should break the teethes of English too. Because of English, we were forced to cry throughout our life with tears of blood. It has been reported freshly that we don’t need to use correct Grammar and Tenses, for example when we opt to write” IM WATING FOR YOU, WHEN WILL YOU COME? By using modern Grammar techniques, all we need to write is that “m wtg u cm whn”.
The world is cutting short as the time passes, desktop computer are coming into laptops, ugly TV is being converted into smart LCDs, window AC in place of split AC and the whole internet now can be kept in a small USB. By keeping in view the mentioned facts there is an immense need to tailor English according to above-mentioned modern techniques. We already have solution of Urdu in shape of Roman Urdu. Now the person who writes wrong English will be regarded as the learned scholar.
If you receive a message from friend in which DAT is written in place of THAT so don’t need to be wondered, comprehend that your friend is an intelligent and social lad who knows techniques of modern English. I had the impression that mix of English is just breathing in Pakistan but I was wrong, my cousin who lives in Saudi Arab shared a really dreadful thing with me is that the mix of English is not restricted to Pakistan, it’s also been practiced in Saudi Arab too.
Whenever people of Saudi Arabia feel hard o speak English, they are very quick to mix it with Arabic for example, if they want to say that IM AT HOME, they would rather say in that way “HAZA MY HOME”. English now has become the easiest language but I would say with lots of sorrow and pity that easier version of English is only acceptable in our daily life, in order to get through from subject of English we need to know the charisma of English. Ages ago it has been felt that English is necessity in our life, for communicating and being in connect with others English is the only way out.
English has so many advantages but sill it has some flaws and loop holes too, like we cannot express our feeling by using English, it lacks emotions, English is a kind of straight forward language. In English, this is enough to write “very sad” on the death of someone, English deprived from love and feelings. Now I have learnt English to the certain extent but I still have some hesitations when I come to speak, don’t know why? but I feel if I start speaking English then there would be no difference in between me and Robot.