Long Term Care: Caring For Our Elderly

In the first video, Aging in America: Crisis in Long-Term Care, the news anchor interviews a 66 year old woman that has been taking care of her stepfather since her mother dies 4 years ago. He does not have enough money to pay to live in an assisted living or other long term care facility. Millions of Americans are over the age of 65 and are the fastest growing age group of our population. A large percentage of this population will need long term care. Unfortunately, most people do not make any plans for this situation until it happens. Sadly for the middle income population there are no government assistance programs for long term care. The lower income population has Medicaid and it helps pay for long term care and the higher income population can afford to pay out of pocket for long term care.

The video goes on to show an innovative group of elderly people whom have created a place to live called Beacon Hill Village. It allows the people to live in their homes independently, safely and responsibly. They pay dues annually. The village sponsors outings to restaurants, other activities, exercise groups, trips to the doctor and grocery store. Currently there are over 100 villages around the country and more than 100 in development. This seems to be working so well because federal government officials do not want to deal with the crisis in long term care.

In the second video, A Window Into the Daily Struggles of Long-Term Care, the anchor interviews a daughter that provides 24/7 care for her mother that has Alzheimer’s and Dementia. She is self-employed and brings her mother to work with her every day that she goes to work because she cannot afford to pay to put her mother in the one facility that is up to her standards. In her opinion, no one can take care of her mother as well as she can. Her mother did not make any plans for long term care and she had to sell off her mother’s assets to help pay for her care. Her mother was living out of the country when she was first diagnosed, it was decided that she would become her mother’s power of attorney and caregiver.

What will I do when my parents are elderly and unable to live alone?

My parents will come to live with my husband and me. I have been an LPN for over 10 years and spent the first 2 years working in long term care. After seeing how those places are run, and what takes priority at the places I worked, I will not put my parents in one of them as long as I am alive and able. The client to nurse ratio is too high for proper care to be given.

Where will I place them: nursing home, retirement community, in my home, etc.?

They will live in our home. We hope to have a different home than we currently have, with a detached guest home for them to live in until they need 24/7 supervision. Then they will come in our main home. We have had this conversation at great length as my mother is 68 years old and my step father is 62 (but his health is not nearly as good as my mother’s). I realize that this is not old, but my maternal grandmother did not live to be as old as my mother is. My maternal grandfather lived to be 86 and his mother lived to be 93. Hopefully my mother takes after them.

How will I pay for it?

My father has a monthly pension. We will have to sell whatever they will not be able to use: cars, home, and furnishings. My husband and I have retirement accounts and will work as long as we are able to. Even if we decide to put them in a long term care facility we would have to transfer their assets five years prior in order for them to qualify for Medicaid along with Medicare. Private pay is so expensive and you get the same care is all other clients, no matter how they pay.

Will I have anyone to help me with this caregiving aspect of my life?

I have two sisters. My middle sister will not help, she doesn’t help now. My baby sister will help us. My parents call me whenever one of them get sick. I am the one who sits at the hospital for surgeries, stays at the hospital with my mother when she is admitted, and the one who takes care of their medical needs. My baby sister will be the one who moves in with me if the time comes that my parents should need 24/7 care. She lives with them now. I also have a nephew and a niece that are willing to assist in any way that they will need to. Thankfully our family is very close and it should be a smooth transition.

How will my life change with this added aspect of my life?

Honestly, not much. The biggest adjustment will be if any of my animals are still living at the time. They will be very old and I will have to care for them also. I am the oldest child and will take care of my parents. My mother is the oldest child and took care of her mother when she developed Alzheimer’s and Dementia and took care of her father when he needed it. When I came home on military leave I would help my mother care for my grandmother. When my grandfather got sick, I helped my mother take care of him until he moved back home. Thankfully, my husband is fine with the future situation. He is Hispanic, his parents are from El Salvador and they treat the elderly much differently than we do here in America. His grandmother shared a room with him when she moved to America to live with them. She stayed with them for 10 years, until she died.