Is love supposed to hurt? Do you love your child from a distance when they disrespect you? When you admire someone, that means you love them. Family is supposed to love one another unconditionally. Why would you disrespect someone you love?
As a parent you love your child whether they are right or wrong. Being disrespectful to your parents is not acceptable to me. How could you disrespect your parents? Why would you want to disrespect your parents? Do you think you can disrespect your parents, because you feel like they owe you the world? My sister repeatedly disrespects my mother by yelling at her, not obeying her, and even disrespecting and humiliating her own children. How and why would my mother allow this type of constant behavior(Fiddler, Morris, & Marienau, Catherine ,2008)?
How can you have no remorse, when it comes to disrespecting your elders? If something happened to your mother today, you would regret everything that you have done wrong just to have her back. You only get one mother so treat her with respect. How do you live life and not think about your disrespectful days outweighing your good days? What triggers you to think doing this is okay? I am curious to why some parents would put up with this. Even if it is your child, you should cut them off and love them from a distance. I am aware of a parent thinking “this is my child, I have to be there for them no matter what.” Why would you be there for someone who continuously hurt you? Did my mother’s parents hurt her? Is that the reason why she feels like she has to be there for her kids not matter what? Love is not supposed to hurt.
As a mother you may believe that things will get better with time. For better outcomes, you should change your situations. Sometimes you must let stuff work out on its own. Does my sister act out because she wants attention? Does she act out like this because she needs mental help? My sister does not care about the repercussions of her actions. My conclusion is that, my mother only puts up with being disrespected because she loves her and she is her child. My mother may feel like if she doesn’t put up with her, then who will? Even when things break you, you should still continue to push forward. What motivates you to keep going when you feel like giving up?
Disrespect lacks courtesy. The next time my mother is disrespected, she should put her foot down. By putting her foot down, means not tolerating being disrespected. When my sister needs a favor, a baby sitter, money, etc. she will see who is really in charge. You can’t be ugly to the people you need. My mother must learn how to put her pride to the side in these situations. Even if it’s going to hurt her to do so. Do we know the real definition of love? Does love allow us to get hurt over and over again? Does love make us go back on our word? The next time she thinks about being ugly, she will think about why she is hurting her mother. When her mother is hurting it will affect her health. Instead of making her stress, make her worry less to live longer. Your new actions will change what you tolerate. Be in charge of your own peace and happiness.
As you look at the reflective theory it teaches you what you allowed in the past and how to change your exceptions and look at your new outcome. The reflective process strives for a better outcome. As a learning experience I will never hold my kids by the hand every step of the way. Sometimes you must let them fall, so they can find out how to get back up on their own. It is okay to love your kids from a distance. Loving your kids from a distance is no different than holding their hand every step of the way. As a reflective learner we learn and grow from our mistakes.
Since taking organizational leadership courses, problem solving has become so much easier for me. First you look at what the problem is. Then you look at your previous experience. When you take a deeper look at the situation you may become aware of new details that you did not notice at first. Next, you create an alternate route for solving your problems (Korthhagen, Fred A.J., & Vasalos, Angelo, 2010). Finally, accept the issue and change it for the better. Victory is finding the root of your problem.
The reflective process could make a better outcome by shaping your problem at large. Before you started using the reflective process you just let a problem go on without observing the issue. Now with the reflective process you can see where the problem starts, what went needs to be fixed, and how your situation will change once you stop accepting the same thing over and over again. If you always do the same thing in life, you will keep getting the same results. Without using the reflective process my mother would keep accepting the harsh behavior of my sister. Now with using the reflective process, my mother looks at what she can do to stop the harsh behavior from my sister. If there is an advantage to make things great, use it. For example, if my mother says she will stop keeping my sister kids. My sister will not disrespect my mother, because she know she needs her help. Always remember when you are having a problem to rewind the situation and look at the negative input. Find out how to turn your negative situations into a positive situation.
