In recent times, individuals across all genders and age groups have been actively searching for their own identities and defying societal norms. Since birth, our minds are like empty canvases that gradually get filled with thoughts, comprehension, and actions influenced by various sources. These external factors form the foundation of our knowledge and greatly impact the development of our distinct personalities.
Philosopher Friedrich Heigel argues that there comes a crucial moment in our lives when we have the chance to select our own paths. This decision is apparent not only in our childhood activities but also in our future careers. Yet, distinguishing between our own desires and the desires of others can prove challenging. Heigel proposes that human desire primarily centers around pleasing others. From this perspective, individuals naturally aim to earn admiration and respect from others through their actions and behavior.
Humans have an inherent desire to seek validation by pleasing, impressing, or manipulating others. This inclination applies to various individuals and groups including friends, family, enemies, and social circles. It even includes our own selves. The impact of these sources can result in negative emotions such as depression, unhappiness, and thoughts of suicide. However, it can also lead to positive experiences like joy, laughter, and fulfillment.
The motivation behind this strong urge to impress and gain respect is a subject of investigation. Sometimes we choose to behave differently while at other times we conform to the expectations of the majority. Perhaps this compulsion arises from a longing for acceptance without facing criticism for being unique. Alternatively, it could be that we believe standing out will attract the attention we desire.
Regardless of the reasons underlying this urge to please others or distinguish ourselves from the crowd, all humans understand their own identity and aspirations.
There is a range in the level of individuality among people. Nevertheless, some individuals choose to challenge societal norms by labeling themselves as feminists, vegetarians, feminine boys, and masculine girls. This decision sets them apart from the usual standards of society and leads them to adopt an alternative approach to life.
We perceive these individuals as arrogant, self-righteous, homosexual, feeble, masculine, and assertive of their beliefs. It is regrettable that we view them in this way because we frequently mock, criticize, and isolate those whose beliefs oppose or differ from our own. Many people also perceive these nonconformists as individuals with unwavering opinions. Is being different inevitably negative or positive? Are these nonconformists displaying strength in their convictions, or are they simply seeking acknowledgment and attention from those who have none for them? Attention can be both favorable and unfavorable.
There is something special about finding comfort and confidence by following the crowd or belonging to an exclusive group. These influential groups shape our identity and determine who we become – they are our family. Our family has a direct influence on us throughout our lives, teaching us how to think and forming opinions about various aspects of life. We observe and reflect on their reactions to decide whether to accept or reject them. In a child’s mind, parents are often highly respected.
As children mature, they frequently mimic their parents’ actions. As adults and parents in a constantly evolving world, we must decide if it is essential to adjust our caregiving approach for our grown-up children. Is it appropriate to keep guiding and teaching them even when they are 46 years old? It is a potential consideration. Nevertheless, we should be aware of our expectations and recognize that their upbringing significantly impacts their development and perspective of the world.
It is our responsibility as parents and role models to guide our children through their early stages of life. However, it would be absurd to ask our 6-year-old children to pursue a career in bioengineering. Anthony Prinzivalli, a freshman at Lehigh University on the East Coast, has always dreamed of attending the University of Notre Dame since he was a child.
His house has been filled with Notre Dame shirts, jerseys, trophies, and other paraphernalia. Football has always been the only topic of conversation. Despite being loving and caring parents, Anthony’s parents have silently pushed the idea that he should go to Notre Dame.
Despite his father and both of Anthony’s brothers playing Line and receiving all American honors in football, not to mention Mr. Prinzivalli’s role as the head of the Notre Dame foundation in Hawaii, it was shocking news when he was not accepted into Notre Dame.
Although it was not openly discussed, the news spread quickly throughout the school. There was a sense of curiosity among students and confusion as to why he had been rejected. However, Anthony made the decision to enroll in a prestigious East Coast college known for its strong wrestling and football programs, and he will be participating in football.
Regardless of whether he received a scholarship or not, it is undeniable that his intense dissatisfaction and disinterest in playing has remained. This sentiment began during his sophomore year when he consistently felt inferior to his brothers. It came as no surprise when he tried out for quarterback as a freshman and performed exceptionally well. However, all the coaches insisted on placing him on the line due to his size and strength.
Regardless of being raised to be a football enthusiast, he possessed enough understanding of the game to excel as a quarterback. Such anecdotes make me ponder on the impact we have on our children and when it is necessary to establish limitations. My personal experience shares a similar narrative.
Education is a tradition in my family. My grandma owns a school which serves children from preschool to third grade. Many members of our family, such as my aunts, mother, and even my uncle, work as teachers or administrators at this educational institution. This school is privately owned and whenever it faces challenges, our family always steps in without hesitation to offer support.
There was never any pressure for me to choose a career as a teacher or work at the school. I always had the freedom to make my own choices. Throughout my life, I have had aspirations for various professions including being a knight, doctor, lawyer, sea captain, and even an Indian. In high school, the question most frequently asked was “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Truthfully speaking, I had no idea.
Despite my family’s teaching background and the low pay for teachers, I have always wanted to become a teacher since 5th grade. However, over time, I started exploring other career options and even thought about attending the CIA to fulfill my dream of becoming a well-known chef.
At first, I had a strong inclination to pursue this path. However, I eventually realized that it was only a convenient solution. Whether I achieved great success or not, it would be attributed to my skills. If unsuccessful, I could attribute it either to my unpreparedness for my style or the intense competition in the industry. As I approached the end of my junior year in high school, I understood that it was a highly competitive field requiring significant dedication. It was at that point when I decided to attend an academic college initially. Once I secured a job with a relevant degree, then I could pursue my dream of becoming a renowned chef.
During my time at Pacific University, I am currently working towards a major in Psychology and a minor in Education. It is interesting to note that I have developed a strong personal interest in becoming a teacher without any external influence. This makes me wonder if selecting education as my field of study is seen as taking the easier route.
During my childhood, I was constantly surrounded by school, which may have been a defense mechanism. Over the past 5 years, I intentionally distanced myself from it due to my strong dislike. However, this environment has now become familiar and comfortable as my home. Consequently, I sometimes ponder if my early experiences with education are what drew me back to this field.
As a child, growing up in an atmosphere that resembled a perpetual school set me apart from others in several ways. Firstly, I was the only student who occasionally faced corporal punishment at school; although those instances were rare.
Throughout my childhood, I was consistently treated with strictness yet fairness. The aspect of school supplies and completing homework assignments never troubled me as they were always taken care of. Nevertheless, lunchtime remained monotonous as I would invariably be served the stegosaurus plate. As I transitioned from my grandmother’s educational institution to embark on my personal journey in life, my days revolved around various activities such as aikido and choir when not occupied with school responsibilities. This routine intensified during summers when I attended summer school before heading over to my grandmother’s preschool where computer games kept me entertained throughout the entire day.
During my school years, I found it tedious. From 7th or 8th grade on, I made an effort to skip school whenever I could. Despite not wanting to join the family business, I felt a constant guilt. There was a silent expectation for me to eventually take over the school like Anthony did, but unlike him, there was no unspoken expectation in my situation.
It’s difficult for me to believe that I didn’t have to become a teacher, and Anthony also never openly discussed his thoughts on playing sports. However, he felt obliged as an important family member to excel in football. His parents probably felt joy and supported him as he pursued the family tradition and sought acceptance. It wasn’t that Anthony disliked football; rather, he struggled with the pressure of his family’s dominance in the sport.
