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Narrative Engagement



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    Nichole and I met in August 2008 and instantly fell in love. I have been married twice before; however, this was a completely different kind of love. She and I were friends through and through and could talk about anything. After dating for a few months I believed she was the one for me. I began thinking of marriage right away, keeping my hopes and dreams silent in our relationship. The decision I was leaning toward was engagement, and I had a hefty amount of thinking to do before I “popped the question” so to speak. After a brief introduction and short time dating, Nichole moved into my home with my two children and I.

    She also had a child from a previous relationship and we often referred to our situation as “his, hers, and ours” in terms of our children and possessions with a jest manner. When Nichole moved into my home, my children became much happier than they had been in previous years, and we were immediately inseparable. My daughter and Nichole would often do things together to establish a solid relationship, different from her previous step mother. Seeing the joy in my children’s faces when Nichole was in their presence was overwhelming at first and quickly resulted in an undying respect for this woman.

    Days and weeks passed and our family became a solid unit and team. Nichole and I devoted time to ourselves while maintaining a healthy household with children and work; the thought crossed my mind that I would like to marry this woman. Nichole was everything I was looking for in a woman, and most importantly she respected herself and my children. I began weighing the options and the pros and cons of marriage; after all, this would be my third time down the aisle. Many individuals said it was too soon and that we would never last if married; however, I knew this simply wasn’t true.

    When I began to compile my thoughts and opinions about the relationship, I realized that marriage is not something to be taken lightly. I thought about the relationship that Nichole and I had, founded on basic ethical principles of honesty and communication. The golden rule was a mantra in our household, and this is what made us a solid family unit. I knew Nichole respected my children and me, as I respected her and her young son. The foundation for this relationship was laid without falter and there were no cracks in the cement. This was the girl for me, and I felt I was ready to ask for her hand in marriage.

    After a few weeks of watching the relationship develop and continue to grow, I decided it was time to ask Nichole to marry me. Selecting the proper way to propose is never easy, and this time it would be different than any other. I would tell Nichole the reasons for my intentions and explain to her why I felt this relationship would last. I began thinking of ways to express myself to her when I knelt on one bended knee, and quickly realized the task was more daunting than I anticipated. Eventually the words came to me and I practiced what I would say to her for days leading up to the magical day.

    As we prepared for a family trip to the coast, I grew nervous with anticipation. I was the only one who knew this day would be the first day of the rest of our lives, and I grew very quiet on the ride up the mountainside. When we arrived at the top, I slipped the ring in my pocket with shaking hands when no one was looking. We took the scenic walk across the top of the mountain, overlooking the ocean on the coast of Maine. When the timing was perfect, I told Nichole I needed to tell her something. With our three children present, I professed my love for her and told her that never have I felt like this for someone before.

    I told Nichole that I valued her and her communication skills, her dependability, and her commitment to our family. This was the first day of the rest of our lives together, and as you could imagine she quickly responded “yes. ” As I look back on this time in my life, I realize this process of deciding to ask Nichole for her hand in marriage has made me a stronger individual. I had to think about the process and really determine the positive and negative aspects of the relationship before I made a leap of faith. Unlike my past marriages, I thought about my options with a clear head and with my family in mind.

    Narrative Engagement. (2017, Mar 13). Retrieved from

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