I picked up the book “Why Men Love Bitches”, by Sherry Argov, because I’m constantly told I’m too nice to people and I’m sick and tired of being over looked by the opposite sex. I felt as if this book could give me a wake up call and in a way it did. Argov is a very charismatic writer, that reels you in to her text. There’s certain areas in the book that seem to flash a light bulb above your head, and then you seem to understand situations you’ve had in the past, similar to what’s been described in the book. Sherry Argov tries to really stress that women need to respect themselves and their wants over he wants and needs of the opposite gender. She points out that it’s okay to be nice, but you have to be nice to yourself first, before you go breaking your back for other people. The book is cut into different sections, all focusing on different aspects of the ‘nice girl’ and on how to change that girl into someone more independent, that knows how to speak their minds. Throughout the book there are little snip its called ‘Attraction Principles’ that basically tell you what’s attractive and what not to do. There’s a total of one hundred of these principles.
I enjoyed the book and felt that it had some good points, but the book was a little too pushy in my opinion. It makes the so called nice girl sound like a complete idiot. Which could be detrimental to someones self esteem if they were to really absorb every word in the text. Argovs purpose in the book was meant to be helpful, and it totally can be, but you have to know not to take everything she says to heart. It worries me how convincing the author is because to the helpless, confused, and hopeless woman, it would become a bible. Women who are just so fed up with life would eat this book up, and ot everything in this book is accurate. There are actually things that could bring someones personality down if they were to try and be everything the book said they should be.
The author has no hardcore evidence that men are really manipulative, or that her techniques really work. Her examples consist of “so my girlfriend totally tried this trick and it really works! ”. I would like a little bit more then Argov gushing about how all of her friends tried her tricks and how it magically worked with every single one of them. Everything is based off of personal accounts with her n the book, which works, because you feel like you can relate to the author but it still doesn’t provide any concrete statistics or even honest evidence. For all we know Argov could have made up half of her so called ‘friends’ in the book. The book still has a good concept for the girl who feels like a doormat to everyone in her life. It’s inspirational because it makes you feel like you can do it. For example, Attraction Principle 6 states: “It’s your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt”(Pg 13).
This is a great message to someone ith low self-esteem because it promotes you to believe in your own self in order for others to follow suit. It brings you together with the book because you feel a sense of camaraderie with Argov. It just feels like your best girlfriend is giving you advice on how to get the upper hand on those darn men. The book encourages you to be financially efficient for yourself, and to hold yourself to a high stander then before. The main message I picked up on is that you are worth it, so stop putting a higher worth on others and start focusing on your own self. Which is such a great thing to promote to anybody, specially women with low self-esteem! Something that bothered me about the book, was the fact that basically the whole thing was on different ways to manipulate men. Which I’m personally against. The perfect example is the fourth chapter in the book which is titled “Dumb Like a Fox”, which encourages women to play stupid and/or helpless around men. I was actually enraged a little bit when I read this section. It just teaches you how to play up a mans ego and then twist it into a way where he does your every wish.
My morales focus on being honest with your partner and not playing games, but according to Argov, that’s all ompletely wrong. Apparently men are just all the same, self-centered, idiots everywhere and you need to train and trick them into becoming your perfect little toy. Argov completely stereotyped men in her book. This makes the book inaccurate to me because not all men are the same. Her methods apply to the basic male gender, but she doesn’t count the different types of men out there. Not all men are buffoons or idiots that can just be played into being your little slave sex-monkey. Argovs book was also inconsistent with how it was telling the women to act around men. One hapter you have to be indifferent, the next you have to be stupid, the next you have to be independent, and so on. It was like a roller coaster of ‘do this’ and ‘be like that’. The book should have encouraged women to be strong but to not lose a hold of themselves.
Sherry Argov just encourages you to do what you want and just not care about how you’re affecting your significant other. She also stereotypes women just as much as men in her book. Which also angered me. It was very frustrating because she would make some really good points, then she would say something completely ignorant that would ver shadow the logic she just used. Reading her book just left me confused and unsure of my own personality. Although there were many negative aspects in the way this book was worded, it was actually a great book overall, with a message that most push over women needed to hear for themselves. Argov incourages women to celebrate themselves and to not take crap from anybody, man or not.
She tries to conclude it with the idea that a woman who holds dignity and respect for herself, will be followed by people who also respect her and adore her. It’s a good self help book for the desperate doormat who eels backed into a corner with no where to go. Argov was succesfull in giving her readers a sense of hope and empowerment. A lot of women need to feel that boost in their daily lives in order to keep going, and this book could help provide that. She really had good intentions when she wrote the book and I can respect her for that. I would probably recommend this book to a friend, just not a gulliable one. The fact still remains that this book has an abundance of inaccuracy to be taken completely seriously.
Argov, Sherry. Why Men Love Bitches. Avon, MA: Adams Media, 2002. Print.
