Growing up as a kid you tend to wonder what love is, and so you ask your parents, what is love? Your parents tell you that love is having a deep affection for someone. When you look it up, the definition of love means, “an intense feeling of deep affection.” As you tend to get older you see things differently, and what you see is that there are people who are in a relationship, and aren’t happy. Or you see that those people act happy, but aren’t really happy. You ask your parents, “Why are they unhappy? If they are unhappy why doesn’t he just leave her?” They respond with, “Because they wanted to be with them now they are stuck with them.” Now what if you were never told what love was? What if you never had a choice to pick how you wanted to date? What if you had not control of what you wanted to do? Because that how it is when you are in an arranged marriage. In an arranged marriage you don’t have a choice on who you want to date or who you want to go out with. You are chosen at a young age to get married, and you have no say in how you want it or what you want to do.
“Bibi was only 15 years old when she died in childbirth after her family sold her into a marriage with a 34-year-old man. Bibi’s story is not an isolated case.” This is an example on why people shouldn’t force their children Into arranged marriages. One forcing your children into arrange marriages you take out the option of meeting new people and experiencing new feelings, and in doing so they never find out and they will never know what it truly means to find the right person. Preview was raped and died in childbirth because of 40-year-old man wanted to be married to her. She was so sold because her family lost everything in the last year‘s flood and because they lost everything, in effort to feed and shelter the rest of the family they sold bibi.
Another example we have is a young girl by the age of 18 who was forced to be married to a single man of their Jehovah witnesses congregation. She states, “Once the announcement was made in church that we were getting married, I was trapped. I couldn’t back out of it. I wanted to run, but I didn’t dare. The Witnesses believe that when you’re married, you are obligated to deliver sex whenever your husband wants it. It brought back everything I had gone through as a child and I became extremely depressed and suicidal.” Lee had no choice and was forced to do something she did not want to do. She didn’t have the choice, and couldn’t do anything about it.
The advantages of having an arranged marriage or that the culture of arrangement or just continues and it shows that parents still have the final word. Parents tend to do this because of money, support, and/or continuing their tradition. In arrange marriage is it easier to get financial assistance from either the groom, and/or the bride. Future prospect for the children is bright as they receive love and guidance from experienced hands. It pretty much means that it leads to good relationship among the parents and relations.
Arrange marriages are to help one another in the person’s culture, but the disadvantages are that there is excessive expenditure and financial burden on the parents because they spend a lot of money just to keep their level in society. Another disadvantage is that it is hard where is the male and the female in the relationship to get along due to the fact that they don’t know each other and they don’t know their temper. He would not know where her limitations are, and she will never know what his limits are because the fact is that they don’t know each other that well because of a first marriage. Having arrange marriages cord, and may create conflict between the families and/or partners. The families might get along but the partners might never get along and this is because of an arranged marriage. To groom and the bride will always be awkward with each other and if they start at a young age they won’t never changed.
The fact is the no matter how young the male or female is they should never be forced into an arranged marriage because they should have the option and the opportunity to explore it to find out what love is, and find out who is the right one for them. arrange marriages were very common throughout the world until the 18th century typically the arrange marriages were arranged by either the parents,grandparents, and other relatives. In China arrange marriages sometimes called blind marriages were normal before the mid 20th century. Arranged marriages were created to help the rich with staying at their social hierarchy.
Arranged marriages are still seen in countries of Europe and North America, among royal families, Aristocats religious groups among fundamentalist Mormon groups of the United States. Arrange marriages continue to very degrees in increasingly in among with other religious groups. Their are different types of arranged marriages such as child marriage, poverty, late marriage, limited choices, physical disabilities, custom, politics, wealth and inheritance issues, bride – well, and religion.
In child marriage five married her daughter to a good family the parents improve their social status by establishing a social bond between each other child marriages are primarily scene in areas of poverty. In Saudi Arabia a girl by the name of mannal was sold into marriage with a 59-year-old man in return for 30,000 riyals, the equivalent of $8000 US dollars. The reason why she was sold into this marriage was because her father ran into financial troubles, but her mother pleaded for divorce on her daughters behalf but she was dismissed by the court.
Now the question is do arranged marriages actually work? Arrange marriage is tend to not work out in between the whole getting married and now knowing each other. Some arrange marriage do turn out well and they do tend to work but in some cases they tend to not work out because they were forced to be with someone that they didn’t choose. They never liked the idea of having some to choose their own destiny, and having someone choose their future. According to the 2016 census by statistics Canada, “nearly half the Canadian population is married and 21.3% of relationships are common law. Unfortunately there isn’t a lot of data on how many of these couples are in arrange marriages, but it previous ABC report claims at least 60% of marriages worldwide are arranged, as well as 90% of them in India.”
A real life example is from a woman by the name of Loveland, who is 53 at a time, despite the first momentary reluctance there was never a question in her mind the Dave wasn’t the one.“He really made me laugh and his personality was so different from some of the guys in England,” she says.This proves that not all arranged marriages are bad, in most cases the groom and the bride get along and instead of feeling uncertain and/or uncomfortable with it with each other they tend to feel more comfortable, and trusted.
Dr. Sounia Ahmed, director and clinical psychologist at the Toronto psychology clinic, says “arranged marriages have changed drastically over the last couple of decades. Arrange marriages were agreed upon by two families with their children were still young, sometimes they would get engaged this the day after meeting for the first time; sometimes they meet for the first time on their wedding day.” And that is what happen with Dave in Loveleen, they never saw each other, all Dave news is she was single and she was a female. Dave decided on an arranged marriage months before seeing his bride to be. During that time, he says family members were tell him about other women and offer suggestions on potential spouses. However; when Dave met loveleen he said, “that she was the one, and that when he saw her for the first time she was beautiful.”
In conclusion there is no real answer to whether or not arranged marriages work out because they either do work out or don’t, it’s a 50-50% chance that it will and that it won’t. It all depends on how bad the people want to be together. Most people will say that having or being in arranged marriage is a bad thing because they see as in selling or prostitution, and other will say that it isn’t a bad thing because they think that having the person date someone else that they don’t know, and getting married to them is a good thing because it gives them the chance to get to know each other, and gives them the chance to experience that love with no strings attached. I guess that it all depends on the two people, and if they want it to work out or not. Most of these decisions are because of religion and also because of financial issues.
