Every January brings a horrendous memory for my family and myself. January being the month, in which my sister passed away, unexpectedly taken from our lives leaving behind the heart broken, chaotic, and depressed husband, parents, and family members. No to mention, the care, love, and tenderness that this new born child would be in desperate need of, where would one begin to manage such a tragedy, to pick up the pieces left and go on to love and care again.
Years have passed, my teenage years, even up until present, as an adult, the past seems to creep up from deep inside my soul to the surface on every January and the reflection of that memory makes my heart ache. The questions of why run through my mind every day, even though it has been over 30 years since my sister has passed away. Denise one of my siblings of two sisters and one brother, which made up our family with our mother and father. Denise was happy person with so much to live for; she was only 18 and just graduating from high school, she delivered her first and only child, and then the unforeseen happened, she died.
Denise had a way about herself, she held her own key to happiness, and then it passed when she did. Neistat 2 Firstly, Denise was my sister, my friend, and my mentor was always full of fun and life. Denise being the person she was enjoyed going to high school soccer games and social events. The games we both attended, I could see the intense plays in her eyes as she watched with enjoyment and love of the game of soccer. She was my older sister; therefore, stuck with me tagging along, I on the other hand, wanted to hang out with her because I looked up to her as my older sister.
On occasions, when she took me with her, I could sense the tensed awkward position she felt she was in but I loved to be with her. Denise met her true love early in life; someone she had went to school with from kindergarten through high school. Dan was his name, everyone knew how truly in love with her he was from his reassurance of his commitment to her and his caring endeavors. Not long before her graduation from High School, she found out she was pregnant with his child, but not married yet. It was a little tense in our house for many months, at a time when being pregnant out of wedlock was not an appropriate in society.
Nevertheless, the families accepted the realization of a new life was a wonderful gift for all. They married and began to live their lives happily together. The overwhelming joy of her pregnancy brought was clear to others; the pure ecstasy of motherhood was her true calling in life. Second and just as important, was the delivery of her first child. Our families were filled with so much joy and happiness, the first grandchild, the first nephew, and the first experience of the miracle of life. Our parents loved this little grandson, so bright
Neistat 3 eyed with so little hair, yet a precious diamond that glitter in their eyes. For myself as an aunt, I was not quite sure of his existence, weighing the factors of my relationship with my sister, knowing there would be significant changes in how our friendship would grow. My best friend is now shared with this miracle of life, but with some adjustment, I could see the enlightened character of his being. I too began to change in character towards her newborn child, loving him as she did, jointly together as siblings and friends.
Miracles take place every day, but for our family this is was our miracle on that day in November. Born on his grandfathers’ and my fathers’ birthday, such pride his grandfather had for this child, this miracle of life. This child would never want for anything as far as his grandfather was concern; he could have the world if it was tangible to his grandfather. Finally, without any known related symptoms, Denise became very ill a month later. Weak, sick, and hospitalized, for what know reason, we had none. What could be happening we had thought?
How can something like this happen so suddenly, unaware of any terminal illness in the family or with Denise? Over a month of time She slowly started to diminish in her body, mind, and soul. Her weakness was so overwhelming for her; even the weight of her son was too much for her to endure. She became incoherent and delirious with fever and sickness; hospitalized on a Friday at Incarnate Ward Hospital with liver enzymes so radical and heart extremely weak, she slipped into a coma late Saturday afternoon and that following Sunday she passed away.
Neistat 4. Shock and dismay, the families were in disbelief of what happened. My parents, oh the sorrow I felt for them, their first child just given birth to their first grandchild, the look of despair in their eyes, their hope of love snatched from them, the look I will never forget to this day. The piece of both my parents’ lives that became whole once she was born was now taken away. For years we still really do not know what happened, she died an eighteen-year-old woman with an eighty-year-old heart. All our questions went unanswered, lost, and even our religion we began to have doubts.
Was there a god? How could he have done such a thing? The healing process was not easy, but became necessary for our families to move on in life. We all needed to heal in life and our faith. In conclusion, Denise will forever hold a special place in my heart, never to leave. We learn about life sometimes through horrible circumstances and try to heal and move on from that point, no matter how dark and gloomy it may seem, we must realize the value of life and appreciate the gift we are given by knowing that life.
Therefore, every January I remember how much I miss my sister, my friend, and my mentor hoping one day I will see her again, to know her more. Who would she have become and would she be the same person that I have remembered only better? Would she have continued her bond with me, her as my mentor, therefore, what would life have been like to hear her voice, laughter, and reassurance, as my sister, how everything was going to be all right. I miss and love her, as I always have, only to meet her again someday.